Date Aired Dec. 2, 2016INSANE WRESTLING SOCIETY & UTUBE PRESENTS
2016 The show opens up with a pan over the Prison Yard, there is a structure that is holding up a cage for the tag team championship match later tonight. We open up with Blake working out with muscle bands, he is a large man and it never stops blowing one's mind. Shane approaches him and slaps him on the shoulder.
Shane- "Sup bro. Looks like you are ready this is a big night for Legendary. We are at the top again right, now people want to know if we can stay here."
Blake stops and puts down the exercise bands. He pours water over himself and than dries off. He puts his Universe title over his right shoulder, and than held the eXtinction title in his other hand.
Blake- "Damn right we can. You remember the plan, that's all I need you to do man. Don't let me down."
He gets back onto the floor and decides to do push-ups now. He places his titles under him being highly protective of them no matter who is around. Josie and Mary Jane enter the scene now as well, Josie gives Shane a kiss and looks down at Blake. She can tell that he is very focused in on a goal, she has been herself. People are getting tired of seeing her try and try again to win the tag team championships. She tried with Shane and than it seemed like with Mary Jane it was finally going to happen, but DoPe had to cheat to steal her victory away! Now Mark Maddow and Adian Cash injured her partner and they are trying to stop her from getting the gold. She folds her arms and smirks, Blake got the eXtinction Championship and The Universe Championship, he is The Fourth Triple Crown Champion. Behind Josie Pleasure(TV/Tag/Universe), Ryan Sharpe(eX/Tag/Universe), and Raven Trueblood (eX/Tag/Universe). Blake is the first ever IWS Grandslam winner, and Josie is very close behind him.
Josie- "I know the feeling, I want to get them back too."
Shane and Mary Jane look at Josie because nobody really said anything, but yet she was answering someone.
Blake- "I want to put them out not permanently but they need to learn who they are messing with. Everyone has plans around here, Raven, Mistress, Paroxysm, Dax Clark. It's about time that Legendary comes up with some plans what do you guys thinks?"
They all agree with him and he puts his fist out for them to respond to, he wants this to be an all for one and one for all type of partnership. That's what made them work in the first place.
===================================
- Singles Match -Bambi Klymaxxx
| vs.
| Denise Hemphill
|
DING DING DING!Kristine Otto: "Welcome to Holiday Blitz Classic, your traditional Fox River Fall Brawl. The opening bout is about to take place and is a singles match with count outs and set for one fall inside the ring."
"Diva" by Beyoncé plays Denise struts out onto the entrance with a huge smile as she traces her curves with the sides of her hands. Then hollers "HEY!" and then mocks her entrance music word for word as she does her best Beyoncé walk down to the ring and then places her hands on her hips as her hair blows all model like and then she carefully walks up the steps and very ladylike gets into the ring and then takes a selfie with Kristine Otto.
Kristine Otto: "and in the ring making her IWS debut, from Atlanta, Georgia . Denise Hemphill."
She holds her arms up and than places down her phone that she was using. She turns and pulls on the ropes and than jumps around hitting the air showing she is impatient for this match to begin.
DICK- "This lady is said to be a former member of the FBI, Pat."
PAT- "Freak Be Insane! Hell Yeah!"
DICK- "What no, nevermind. She called out Bambi Klymaxxx and that is no surprise with the roll that Primo and Bambi have been on. One way or another I think this is a good call by Denise Hemphill to get her name noticed right away."
PAT- "I been told that is what you do in Prison Dick. You call out the biggest and baddest and you stomp em in the nutz! Yea yea!"
"Stupid Girl" by Cold plays Skipping out onto the ramp with a orange sucker bulging from one cheek as soon as the crowd cheers she pulls it out of her mouth with a popping sound and a smile. She puts it back in her mouth and bounces down the isle and slow walks up the ring steps turning towards the crowd as she twists the sucker in her mouth, then she slowly enters between the ropes shaking her butt and boobs for a split second and then bounces to an upright position as she pulls the sucker out of her mouth and hands it to the ref for safe keeping.
Kristine Otto: "and her opponent, hailing from L.A. California. BAMBI KLYMaxxx!"
Bambi blows the crowd kisses with a wide grin. and Kristine gets out of the ring. Denise is still pumped up about this debut, but is holding it all in as the Ref makes sure the match is started off fairly. The official is Daniel Tanaka he looks at both women and than signals for the bell.
DICK- "Here we go. Daniel Tanaka is officiating this match and I can promise you that means things will be right down the middle."
PAT- "Primo is out here cheering on Bambi, but I think that could spell trouble Dick."
DICK- "Do you now?"
PAT- "Yes and I will than too. You just wait and see."
DING DING!Denise pushes Bambi and than Bambi gets annoyed and pushes her back before also delivering a hard slap. Denise counters an Irish whip sending Bambi into the ropes, she ducks and Denise jumps over her. She gets caught however with a STRONG right forearm shot to the face of Denise sending her to the canvas of the mat. Bambi gets excited and mouths off showing a little of her bad girl side. "That's right, I am primo too girl." Bambi picks her up and goes for a clothesline. Denise grabs her arm as she ducks the move and spins Bambi around making her dizzy and the perfect target for a spinning heel kick!
DICK- "What a kick!"
Denise follows it with a strong front kick as Bambi bent over from the strike to her gut she is met with the front kick to her face. She grabs her nose in agony as Denise picks her up and hits a samoan drop.
PAT- "Damn! she is tossing Bambi around like a little doll."
She kip-ups and than pauses to pose her muscles for the audience and play up the crowd who is slightly taken back by her in ring ability. She hops up and down in the corner. "Come get some... come get some!" Denise says as Bambi is rolling to her stomach and trying to get back to her feet. She hits Personal Space! Bambi is down and Denise goes for the cover... One, Two. Bambi kicks out!
DICK- "What a move it nearly put Bambi away."
PAT- "Yes but this is not horseshoes or hand grenades."
Both ladies are slow to get up Denise more less because she is zeroing in on Bambi. She closes in on the life size barbie doll, but Bambi was waiting for her and kicks her hard in the stomach and than she hits Denise with Orgasm!! Her signature and improved bicycle knee smash connects square across Denise's jaw, and Bambi attempts to get a rush pin on the new IWS Amazon.
DICK- "The ref counts not missing a beat, One, Two, Denise kicks out right before the three! What a close one huh Pat?"
PAT- "Yes it was Dick. Bambi needs to stay on her, oooooh this is so nice. hehe!"
Bambi shakes her head showing a bit of frustration. She looks around and sees that Primo is cheering her on than picks up Denise and delivers a forearm to the forehead. Than hits her with The Reach Around! Bambi waste no time before scurrying around to lock in her Backdoor Action. Denise struggles against the rear naked choke and shows her power by being able to fight out of it within fourty-six seconds. Bambi is caught off guard with another Shoe Sale!
DICK- "What a superkick!"
PAT- "Come on Bambi!!!"
Denise sees that Bambi is getting up at about the same rate she is and collects herself for a burst off the ropes, but Bambi ducks and runs off the ropes herself countering Denise with Bambi Bomb! She hurries to sit on Denise chest while hooking the right leg. One, Two, Th-Denise kicks out! Bambi's mouth is wide open she can't believe that Denise kicked out of her finisher! Bambi tries again for another pinfall out of frustration. One, two, Denise again kicks out!
DICK- "This new Amazon is staying in things here."
PAT- "Are they still Amazons in Fox River? I mean yea I guess they could be ... yea. Alien females sent here to dominate us."
DICK- "I have no Godly idea what you are talking about, Pat."
Bambi argues with the Ref and start to question rather he is out to get her or not. This distraction allows Denise to hit Bambi hard in the gut and than bounce off the ropes hitting the Roach Killer! Denise is not done she accents the top rope, Primo is trying his best to get Bambi to wake up with his shouting but she looks very dizzy. She finds her feet as Denise jumps off the top rope hitting The Man Slealer! she gets the cover on Bambi. One, Two, Three!!
PAT- "Haha her Turkey is cooked Dick."
DICK- "I think you meant Goose."
DING DING DING!Kristine Otto: "Here is your winner, Denise HEMPHILL!"
===================================
Judas Tyme is backstage drinking some water whenever Dorian Blake confronts him smirking with his two championship belts. He looks down at Judas' waist and chuckles.
Blake- "Must be nice not to be so ambitious."
Tyme shakes his head and smirks not wanting to blow up like Dorian wants him to. He instead pats the Universe Title and replies.
Judas- "I am ambitious enough, just not greedy."
Blake jerks away from Judas and glares at him before Shane cracks Judas over the back with a steel chair. The big guy turns around and Shane follows it up with a swing over the head. Judas falls backwards and Blake drops his titles to catch him and hit a German Suplex that knocks Judas Tyme through an equipment table. Blake gets back up and looks down grabbing his titles. Shane stands next to him before the two hear a loud shout down the hallway.
BY- "YO! Yo, yo yo! NO!"
He rushes down the hallway with his homies following behind him. Brandon thinks twice before running head first into a chair shot from Shane, he isn't afraid of them though and Legendary can see that. Brandon checks on Judas while his homies have his back and than gets up in the Champ's face.
BY- "YO! You wanna fight hot stuff, let's go! I see you and I ain't scared, I ain't scared!"
Blake laughs and looks down at the froggy little Brandon Young he is a bouncing little flee to Dorian and he could take down this gang with Shane but it would hurt his chances in the main event later.
Blake- "We'll fight Brandon... and those tag titles will be on the line. You got lucky, but I am gonna get whats mine tonight."
Him and Shane exit and Brandon clinches his fist angry that he has to wait until later to get his mitts on Dorian Blake.
BY- "Yea, well all I see you doing is talk bud. You're right though, you'll get yours."
He aggressively flips off Blake and than turns his attention to his hurt tag team partner as we fade away.
===================================
- Tag Team Match -Fall of ADAM
| vs.
| Die Spitzengruppe
|
DING DING DING!Broken dreams by Shaman's Harvest plays and the three walk out in a fog around them. Moses has an eire smirk, Harper looks, hungry, and their leader Adam whips his hair out of his face and holds up his arms before bending in his ring finger and pointing at the ring before he leads the men down to the ring.
Kristine Otto: "Now making their way to the ring, being lead by Their Chosen One; Adam McGavin....The Fall of ADAM."Adam slides into the ring and lays there while Moses and Harper climb up the turnbuckles. Adam kneels and spins around to his team mates before bowing and standing up to take the mic off of Kristine.
The Chosen One: "Very nice... You know the routine by now hamsters. Stop turning that wheel and cut the music. " He stops as his teams music stops. Adam surprisingly looks a lot better than when he was injured.
"We are... The Fall of Adam. what dreams..." The fans boo him and his cult, interrupting him.
"...you have we will break." He is drowned in the boos. he puts the mic to his lips and whispers They boo louder.
"Quiet ... There is no salvation, there is no light. only the sad reality that we are taking over...." Booooooooooooooooooo! Adam gives in and stands in the middle of the ring with his head down and his arms out stretched. Letting the fans boo him and The Cajun WreckingBall, Sheamus Moses.... The man he wants to call the Eater of Souls Brodie "Deadeye" Harper. He is The Chosen One they can't stop him.
"Are you scared?""Did you not hear me?! I you idiots if you are scared?!" He shouts at them mounting the middle rope as he glares at them. The boo louder and he chuckles and licks his lips before hoping off the ropes.
"What you see before you is not the past, and it is not the future we are the here and the now. We are THE FALL OF ADAM! We all feel alone at times. I am here to tell you that you are NOT alone you are ONE WITH US! As you fall we will reap what is sown, we are forever. Why than... WHY I ask you is Fall of Adam left off this card? Because we are a threat that is why. That is why MaddCa$h stuck their nose in affairs of ours. Their time it will come, heed my warning YOUR TIME WILL COME! So who is courageous enough to face us?"There is a pause before Die Spitzengruppe makes there way to the ring.
Du Hast by Rammstein plays.Enis and Zwei enter and stomp around to the music as well as headbanging and actually working the fans into their favor. They slap people's hands and both slide into the ring posing with their hands on their hips before saluting the crowd. The pander to the crowd who is generally only marking out do to their theme song. As a Mosh pit accumulates at ringside. The two sparkling golden gods continue to work up their audience while in the ring.
Brodie waste no time attacking the larger of the two, and Sheamus follows up by attacking the other. Bell rings.
DING DING!Brodie is pummeling away on Enis and than Irish whips him to the corner opposite of them. Sheamus is driving knee after knee into the gut of a cornered Zwui who Sheamus and Brodie together Irish whip into the opposite corner and than Brodie Irish whips Sheamus into a CANNON BALL!
PAT- "Zwui looks like he got squashed like a grape about to become jam! Hell Yeah BayBay!"
DICK- "Aggressive strategy by the Fall of Adam here tonight to start off their match off."
The Cajuan wrecking ball himself smirks and pulls Zwui up to his feet before driving him hard to the canvas with a drilling clothesline. Sheamus reaches up and tags in Brodie while he locks on a modified armbar on Zwui. Brodie enters the ring and stomps on the back of Zwui's shoulder before Sheamus exits. Brodie locks his arms around the grounded Zwui and rolls around on the mat delivering his HeatStroke!
DICK- "He just wants to take all the air from Zwui, these masked fighters might have bite off more than they can chew for they debut match, God Bless em."
PAT- "Why? Why should God Bless them? screw them! Look at The Fall of Adam lay waste to these two losers Dick. Hahaha! I am loving it! I don't know why, but I can feel an erection so I know I like it Dick."
He lifts up Zwui and hits a suplex quickly going for the cover. One... Two... Zwui manages to get his own shoulder up before the third count.
Brosie walks to the corner and stares and icy stare across the ring and than seems about ready to jump out of his skin as he awaits... He rushes Zwui and hits FastDraw! Brodie goes for the cover. One... Two... Thr- No! Enis broke it up, but Sheamus is back in and clotheslines Enis over the top ropes to the outside.
DICK- "Sheamus has taken care of Enis again, that could have lead to trouble for The Fall of Adam huh Pat?"
PAT- "Dick they are trouble, they lead people to it not the other way around. Sometimes... I swear you know nothing!"
Inside the ring Brodie is done with this, he grabs poor little sweet Zwui and delivers several knee strikes to him and than The Brodie Bomb before going for another cover, one, two, three!
DING DING DING!Kristine Otto: "Here are your winners... Sheamus Moses and Brodie Harper... THE FALL OF ADAM!"
DICK- "Valiant effort, but the Fall of Adam is the better team here tonight folks."
PAT- "Go back to GERMANY! BOOOOOOO!"
After the match Adam enters the ring and got his spike out he hit both men with it opening them up and painting their blood on the faces of his follows. Than turns and falls to his knees before them holding his bloody hands in the air.
The Chosen One:"the dark places of the land are full of the habitations of violence. NO ONE CAN CHALLENGE US! WE are the Fall of Adam, we are the destruction of man. We are the blackest pit of all destinations. WELCOME to the Dark Place! HAHAHAHA! WELCOME!""Heroes" by Jim Johnston plays and Ross & Biggs walk out slapping their heads and hyped up. Marky Shagwell walks out with his huge top hat and sexy looking shades. He licks his lips and rubs his fingers over his goatee before hyping up his boy each with a chop to the chest and sends them to the ring running. Both guys slide into the ring and collide with The Fall of Adam!
Biggs is powerful and able to deliver a belly to belly suplex to Brodie, and than to Sheamus. While that was happening Marley Ross that slick little shit dodges to the left and than the right and he hops in the air all to avoid Adam swinging at him trying to jab him with his pick weapon. Biggs belly to belly suplexes Brodie again! and than hits Sheamus with a step up ensiguri! Ross finally ... is able to catch Adam's hand and he drags him down to the mat. He locks it between his legs and hooks his arms tightly around the face of Adam and torquing back on his neck and back. (The W&C Strangler! for all you heels out there.) Adam taps the mat frantically wanting to be let go. Mark Shagwell gets onto the mic.
Shagwell: "Alright Ross drop em. So Adam I hear you guys think you are unstoppable, well my boys take offense to that. Have you really gotten to fight us? Right there are two REAL wrestlers and that's something you aint right now. You were on this card and my boys were not. You've been talked about as future tag team champions, and my boys are not even an after thought to a card booking. So if you and your team want to keep running your mouths than we are gonna be right there to shut them up. Biggs, Ross, let's go boys."
He drops the mic and leads World's Greatest American Throwback to the inside of the prison where they came from.
===================================
We open up in the infirmary where Brandon Young is pacing with his tag belt around his waist and talking vulgarly and rapidly to himself. The Doc is shinning a light into Judas' eyes and than clicks it off and sighs.
Doctor- "By company policy you are cleared to fight tonight and defend your tag team titles."
BY- "Good Doc we got a beef to settle."
Doctor- "You should still get treated though and take things as easy as you can."
Judas- "You think we can take it easy defending these tag team championships against Legendary? Not to mention those members we are facing are Josie Pleasure and Dorian Blake the two most dangerous members of that group. Tack on Doc that this is a cage match? Have you ever been in a cage match? There is four walls of steel that are around that ring and trapping you in there with your opponents."
BY- "We got this, Yo Yo! They got tricks well so do we. Don't worry about things tonight we will figure this shit out."
The doctor shakes his head because of this lost cause and tosses his arms in the air before stepping away from them. Brandon's homies enter the room as he exits and the scene fades out.
===================================
DICK- - "Legendary up to their old numbers game like usual. One has to wonder what type of shape Judas Tyme will be for the tag team title match later tonight. This next match will determine the next entry or entries in the Holiday Mayhem match at Seasons Beatings. I know Jerrick Hadrian is a big man, but can he really defeat two guys at once? The Gifted one refused to fight Shane Trudex claiming it would be far too easy. Plus the Nameths who have been gaining quite a lot of attention here of late I am sure will be no pushovers."
PAT- - "LOOK AT JERRICK! He is over seven feet tall! He weighs over 400 pounds! I don't care how good Dwayne and Freddy have gotten over the years, Jerrick has gotten big and you can't go to school and learn that Dick...nope."
DING DING DING!
-Handicap 1vs2--Holiday Mayhem Qualifier-Jerrick Hadrian
| vs.
| Freddy Nameth
| Dwayne Nameth
|
"This next match is a handicap match and Holiday Mayhem Qualifier. Making his way to the ring first, he is the 24-7 TV Champion... The Gifted One... Jerrick Hadrian!"
Korn's It's On starts to play.Come on!
Save some for me, it's what I like.
I wanna play, you know it's time.
Something is calling, I can't keep from falling.
Come on!
It's on!
Now see it's my fault, angels stabbing me inside.
Nothing changes, just rearranges, for me this time.
Once I cave in, what can I fight?
I can never win, my self I don't like,
I don't like, I don't like, I don't like.
Something is calling, I can't keep from falling.
Come on!
It's on!
You see it's my fault, angels stabbing me inside.
Nothing changes, just rearranges, for me this time.
This time. This... time.
For me, inside. Put me inside.
Hold me, this time. Put me inside.
Come on!
It's on!
Pyro's start to explode, and Jerrick comes walking out from the back.
Oscar and Sebastian appear to have been waiting for him as the two of them jump him from behind as he is making his way to the ring. A ref is standing near them, but does not want to get hurt by Jerrick. The gifted one tosses Oscar into Sebastian and than hits a double clothesline on the two of them. Jerrick picks up Oscar with a military press and than tosses him into the bleachers where people try and hurry to get out of the way before being squashed by Oscar's flying body.
Sebastian has a steel chair and cracks it across Jerrick's back but all that happens is the chair bends. Jerrick turns and looks at Sebastian before he grabs him by the throat and than hits him with The Blackout!
DICK- - "my gawd! Jerrick just took down both members of Los Beatdown like school children Pat."
PAT- - Hell yeah he did! You see that chair take a Jerrick shot! BRUTAL!
With both members of Los Beatdown out of the equation. Jerrick picks up his TV title and continues to walk to the ring, and starts to pace back and forth.
Kristine Otto: "And his opponents... hailing from Moorhead Mississippi! They represent the Nasty Nameths, the team of Freddy and Dwayne Nameth...ELEMENT NIGHTMARE!"
TEST ... THIS IS A TEST. TEST, TEST ... THIS IS A TEST. The words play and Freddy and Dwayne walk out through an entrance curtain. They take time each to play to the fans and then head to the ring.
DICK- - "The Nameths might have some advantage after Jerrick just disposed of Los Beatdown, but he doesn't seem effected by the run in at all."
PAT- - "It won't matter Dick, they care more about the crowd just look at them."
Freddy and Dwayne bump fist and elbows and than run to the ring, they slide in JERRICK ATTACKS! The large man is wasting no time attacking the twin brothers.
DICK- -"This is not a good start for the Nameths!"
PAT- -"But a GREAT start for the gifted one!"
DING DING!Jerrick stomps on Dwayne and than kicks Freddy in the gut. He grabs Dwayne with his large hands and tosses him across the ring like a child. Freddy grabs Jerrick from behind trying to apply a sleeper to him, but Jerrick easily tosses Freddy off of him. Freddy is in the corner and SLAM Jerrick collides with him in the corner with a body smash. Dwayne kicks Jerrick in the back of the knee and gets the giants attention, he grabbed his knee but the pain leaves fast as he glares at Dwayne. He grabs at him and Dwayne with his {OH SHIT} face dives out of the way, he runs off the ropes and right into a SPEAR from Jerrick! it looks like Dwayne got knocked the fuck out by that move as he lays there glazed eyed looking up at the sky.
DICK- -"OH MY GOD! Id HE OK?!?!"
PAT- -"He is breathing does that count as ok Dick? Look out Freddy is back on the offensive. haha!"
Freddy once more is on the attack, but he looks like a toddler trying to beat up his father. Jerrick thumps his fist off the top of Freddy's head and nearly knocks his lights out. Jerrick grabs Freddy and hits him with The Blackout and covers him. One, two, Three!!
DING DING DING!Kristine Otto: "and your winner advancing to the Holiday Mayhem match at Seasons Beatings ... The Gifted One... JERRICK HADRIAN!"
Jerrick exits the ring with an emotionless look on his face and his TV Championship across his shoulders who nobody is even daring to attempt to take from him.
===================================
Inside the Prison where Primo's cell was he was decorating a Christmas tree with Bambi because it was after all the next holiday coming up. Not to mention the Primo's birthday! He chuckles as he hands her the string of popcorn to go around it, and the shredded up tax files or whatever they were from Queen Sophie's office he'd politely asked her for. The Tree itself has no needles and is dried up and dead so it will take a lot of work to make it look good, but Bambi said she wanted a Christmas tree and Primo wants her to have what she wants.
The Wolf- "How cute bringing materialistic things into a seasonal celebration. One last attempt to give yourselves false hope."
Dresden's icy voice came through the bars of the cell and creeped over Bambi and Primo. Bambi gasp as memories of her last encounter with Dolphus returned to her. She hides behind Alejandro holding onto his shoulders. He puts his hand out to help make her feel shielded and glares daggers at The wolf for even coming close to his cell like this.
Primo- "Get out of here!"
The Wolf- "I am not in your cell I am just in the cell block. I was just on my way to the ring you don't need to worry Bambi. I will have plenty of time to get my hands on you once he is taken care of. The carnal desires of people that the two of you exploit is detestable. I will set things right in this match tonight."
He laughs and walks away from them heading to the ring like he said. Their match was coming on next, Primo looks at Bambi realizing he had lost track of the time. He wraps his strong arms around her to let her know everything is ok.
Primo- "Hehe. Oh babe don't let that guy get to you. Remember I said I wouldn't let anything happen to you, and you want to be right there with The Primo right?"
She nods her head yes and kisses his cheek. He chuckles like a 12 year old boy and than quickly remember he is running out of time.
Primo- "OH! Babe so like I said I want you able to protect yourself and I got this third cousin on my mom's side twice removed....anyway. I got you this, it was tricky, but The Primo can do anything."
He hands her a glove that is for her right hand that looks nude but with silver up the fingers and along the veins of the back of her hand. It is heavier than it looks and she realized that the silver was some type of special wire, and the knuckles of the glove is where all the weight is at.
Primo- "It's half of a set of blast knuckles, it only zaps if you make a fist though and the knuckles are loaded, but duh you probably knew that. Oh and I knew you'd need this too."
he hands her a pouch for her belt loop that holds inside it pepper spray. Another hard to find idem inside a prison, but like everything that he has been getting he thinks she is worth all the trouble.
Bambi - "Oh Primo! Christmas presents!"
She exclaims putting on the glove and hooking the pepper spray onto her belt loop. Than suddenly very sad she says.
Bambi- "Like I didn't get you anything...."
He smiles and holds her left hand because she has the glove on her right and that would hurt huh? He kisses the back of her hand and replied to her.
Primo- "It's ok, having you here with me is more than enough."
They walk over and are now behind the entrance/exit where everyone goes to start their way to the ring Alejandro is holding Bambi's hand and smiling while the two of them discuss plans for things that could happen. He makes sure to ask about her SAP Blast knuckle Glove and she nods and raised her right fist showing she had it on. He than looked down at her waist where she has her pepper spray that he sneaked in the prison for her.
Primo- "Alright I want you to stay away from Dolphus as much as possible, and don't let your guard down to check on Primo ok? No matter what Bambi needs protected first. I am gonna win this one for you babe, I promise."
He leads her out the door and the two of them head to the ring.
===================================
-- First Blood Match --'The Wolf' Dolphus Dresden
| vs.
| Alejandro Primo
|
hits the PA, Doulphus walks through the curtain extending his arms like one of greatness, he taunts the crowd with his rude remarks making them boo. He slides into the ring and jumps up on the turnbuckle taunting with even more boos, he smirks a slimy looking evil grin and hopes down wiggling his neck and wrist loose before the match.
DICK- "The wolf is in the Yard, and the fans do not like it one bit."
PAT- "That's because they don't know what is good for them Dick. The Wolf wants us to have a clean natural pleasant environment. As far he sees things PrimoKlymaxxx is what is leading us down the path of corruption... which is kind of fun, but he is damn right... damn right! Do you think he would say she is corrupting me Dick?" (he ask holding out a playboy)
The Wolf by Fever Ray plays and Primo walks with Bambi looking good on his arm. Primo has a grin an his large sunglasses he brushes his hands through his hair and hits a few of the outstretched hands from the barricade. (if any are there) The females in the audience screams for him to flex his muscles for them and he does not disappoint them posing for their cameras before entering the ring. He climbs the tops rope with his tag title in hand and poses he takes off his sunglasses and tosses them into the crowd.
DING DING!Primo and Dresden start the match off in a brawl to punch the others face in. Dresden kicks Primo getting the upper hand long enough to run off the ropes, but Primo catches him with a deep arm drag and the two are left at their first stand still as Dresden is back up to his feet quickly while Primo holds off on a punch that would have likely been blocked. These two are evenly matched and have a rivalry that dates back to their debut in IWS. Dresden locks up with Primo again testing strength and coming out on top getting Primo into a side headlock, but Primo shoved him away and into the ropes. Dresden rebounded with a shoulder tackle and than runs off the ropes himself and Primo rolling under him he goes for another arm drag but this time Dresden anticipated it and blocked it. He flips over Primo and hits a belly to back suplex!
DICK- "Both are very athletic and we are seeing that in this opening sequence of this First Blood match."
PAT- "You know Dick if they just got a razor or a shank you know... this match would be over in seconds... That's what I would do if I was out there."
DICK- "That's also WHY you are not out there Pat."
Dresden attacks Primo from behind he then starts attacking the head of primo as primo tries to block the hits. He pulls Primo up and Irish whips him to the ropes, but Primo stops himself, Dresden follows up with a clothesline sending both men over the top rope and to the outside ground. He the throws primo back first into the barricade as primo screams in pain. Bambi stands aside worried.
primo's neck gets stepped on by dresden as primo tries to catch his breath but every chance he gets dresden attacks. The Wolf is twisting viciously on that neck still trying to wear down Alejandro so that he is unable to defend himself from punches. Dresden goes picks him up with a full nelson slam and grabs some weapons, a chair pressingly. He runs after primo but primo kicks him in the leg as he grabs the free chair and starts to hit dresden in the back head and legs to try to put a hurting on him. He then sets the chair up and dose a toe drop hold into the chair as dresden screams in pain. No blood seen yet though. Bambi cheers for primo as dose the fans as primo taunts to his adoring fans.
DICK- "He really is the people champion here tonight isn't he?"
PAT- "I think in The Primo's mind he is Eva Perón, and we should be tossing roses into the ring for him."
He then starts to attack the limbs of Dresden trying to get the upper hand. he picks him up and body slams him face first into the chair. The fans chant "one more time" as he dose it. Again for the fans. Dresden is still not bleeding though. Primo has up the woozy Wolf and Irish whips him at the steel ring post, but Dresden reverses it!! Primo almost slams face first into the ring post, but Bambi tackles him down to the ground.
Dresden laughs about it as he approaches the two of them knowing he has an intimidation factor over Bambi. He stomps on Primo's fingers, and than again on his other hand. Dresden picks up Primo and shoulder thrust him into the steel ring post hurting his spine. both bodies are beaten and both men are tired.
DICK- "It has not been a very long encounter folks, but these two have put on a real grapplefest!"
PAT- "You are full of it Dick! These two have had one huge spot after another and one of them is gonna crack, or ... well... bleed."
Primo is first back to his feet and Dresden is right behind him, the two once more start punching the heck out of one another and it doesn't stop until their energy starts to drain again. Primo is the more conditioned athlete and he hits a roundhouse kick to the side of Dresden's head! He struggles to get to the ring apron, and than he ascends the turnbuckle. He did a corkscrew moonsault off the turn buckle as the fans chant holy shit primo looks like he tweaked his ankle coming down but seems to stay in the fight as he picks up Dresden on his shoulders and attempts the SRI. Primo then goes for his finisher but then doesn't have enough strength to pull it off as dresden fights back and reverses it with a ddt. He Warps the cable cord around Primo's neck and chokes the life out of primo as he screams for air. Bambi is shouting at Dresden to release Primo and also trying to encourage Primo that he can fight out of it without getting too close to The Wolf herself.
DICK- "It's obvious that Bambi is terrified of Dresden. Right now I think she has good reason he is being savage on Primo right now."
PAT- "She should be terrified Primo is not going to be able to protect her. The Wolf will erase her from earth if she does not straighten up her ways."
Primo stumbles forward and Bambi squeals and sprays them both with the pepper spray that Primo had given her! Primo stumbled forwards while Dresden grabbed his eyes from the intense burning. Bambi looked around and kicked Dresden hard right in the nuts, he fell over nearly turning purple from the pain. Both men were beaten as anything and everything had been thrown that they can think of up to this point. Primo was looking under the ring and grabbed a tool box, he wobbled and held it up before slaming it off Dresden's head, and than tossing it down on his body. He started punching Dresden, but it was reversed and Dresden was able to get up. He almost knocks Primo into Bambi, but he is able to put on the breaks...Not so FAST! The Wolf dropkicks Primo in the back and shoved him hard into Bambi knocking them both down. Primo became furious and stood up he hit a double leg takedown on The Wolf. Primo picked up a screw driver and started going ape shit on dresden head until dresden started to bleed. The ref called for the bell to end the match.
DING DING DING!Primo was still hot after the ref with the screw driver bambi was the only one who could stop him as the fans cheered. She puts her arms around him and gives him a kiss on the cheek telling him that he won. He falls over and Bambi has to help him back to his feet before it all sinks in that he is the victor.
DICK- "Amazing! Primo defeated the Wolf and it looked like he was TRIGGERED!"
PAT- "Well he loves his Bambi you know Dick. I really thought The Wolf was going to get things down tonight though."
Primo is badly bruised and his face is swollen like most people appear to be after a boxing fight. He smiled very brightly though and put Bambi on his shoulder while she celebrates with the fans. He holds his arms up and shouts "yea!" as he passes them with her making his way to the metal shop area where he had gotten ready earlier.
===================================
The cameras open up in some place outside the main building for the cellblock and messhall are. Adam is pacing in front of his two men.
The Chosen One- "Was that a victory in your eyes? Not mine men! We are the Fall of Adam we are responsible for the destruction of men, for their fear. Did you see the way those patriotic fools interrupted us. MaddCash are the two that started this. World's Greatest American Throwback... you want to challenge The Fall of Adam? You think that because MaddCash foiled our plans that now just anyone can do so. Their time will come whenever I feel like it because I will be sure never to forget their transgression, just like I will not forget yours. You want to play with a truly talented team, you think that we are in the same league?"
He begins to laugh and laugh and laugh he turns and looks at Sheamus who smiles widely at his leaders amusement. Brodie ... is also smiling? No teeth but still it is... creepy! Adam's laughter slows and he turns to the camera that has found them.
The Chosen One- "It is my job to do onto you what the world has done onto me. I have been chosen by the men that follow me, I am the one that they selected to take them to their own promised land. This is that promised land, the IWS is their playground. When people said Mistress Pain was the longest reigning champion, I kept my mouth shut. After all that was the old Adam, the idiot Adam. The boy from Bedford who came to America to live a dream. It was a dream that didn't take long to become a nightmare. I held the UK title for a total of 366 consecutive days. Mistress Pain made it to a very impressive 258 I believe... well impressive it is not 366 now is it? Sheamus was in an Fed and it was and I have been asked to keep his mentor off my lips respectfully. However in this Fed where Sheamus made his maiden voyage as a wrestler alone and by himself he found that his talent was wasted. Things were not progressing, any ideas he had were shunt down immediately by administration. I saved him from that fate of burial. I told him come with me and though I might be young I shall take you to a land of wonder. One flowing over with milk and honey a place where anything can happen from the brightest of lights to the darkest of darks. So than Sheamus gathered Brodie the two rescuing me as I return the favor and now rescue them."
Both Sheamus and Brodie in perfect synchronization fold their arms over their chest and stand in mighty form behind Adam as he speaks words that make them feel proud. His words please the two of them and erase any shame that might have creeped in after the confrontation out in the yard between the ropes. Adam might have tapped, but he will not permit that to make him look weak. His team might have been beaten out of the ring, but they were not defeated and he will not permit them to look defeat-able. This team is strong and this team is like the boogieman that haunted your dreams as a child. This team has been forged of souls that are broken or lost and need guidance. Most importantly to the three of them this team is what will lead to the fall of anyone they wish.
The Chosen One- "We ARE The Fall of Adam, and we WILL watch this world burn. Are you afraid... you should be! Hahaha!"
He extends his arms out and tilts his head back closing his eyes while he laughs. Sheamus and Brodie watch him as the scene fades away.
===================================
- Singles Match- No DQ -'The Machine'
Jack Sinister
| vs.
| 'The Boss of Thunder'
Joey Nameth
|
"The next match is a No DQ match scheduled for one fall." {Crowd: "ONE FALL!"}
"Counting Flowers on the Wall" by Eric Heatherlyplays. The fans cheer, a small pyro blast off and Joey Nameth walks out through the smoke and screams like a viking with the crowd still cheering him. He hypes the crowd as he smirks and rubs his hands together before slowly walking to the ring. He gives the fans near him a touch here and there and is wearing his plain black trunks and black boots looking serious and ready for business.
Kristine Otto: "and their opponent, he hails from Moorhead, Mississippi and weights in at 275 pounds, he is The Boss of Thunder... JOEY NAMETH!"
Joey rushed at the ring and slide in he held his hands up smiling as the fans cheer and him and them sing along with his theme. "Now don't tell me. I have nothing to do." The music fades and Joey looks at his opponents.
DICK- "The Boss of Thunder has grown a following over the past year and competed for the eXtinction Championship against one of the most dominate champions in our history Mistress Pain. He will not be a push over for the young Jack Sinister."
PAT- "Mistress Pain has nurtured Jack though Dick he is not that young punk that debuted in IWS he is the MACHINE! Hell Yea, you know that I think tiny tank of a man is gonna beat up the largest Nameth brother."
The opening to
Kashmir by Led Zeppelin plays through the PA System as the music kicks in Jack walks out from behind the curtain, his Mistress holding her whip and having him in a chain and collar. She walked out and stood beside him smiling at her creature as he flexes his young muscles and and shakes his head to mentally hype up as he continues to walk to the ring.
He is wearing a shiny black long jacket with his hair spiked in a crazy way, his wrist are taped heavily and he is sporting black wrestling tights and boots. He walks to the edge of the ring and Mistress Pain whispers in his ear. She than takes off the collar and spanks him playfully on the rear as he jumps up on the apron and grabs the ropes. Pain leaves the area like Jack had requested before the match.
Kristine Otto: "and presented by Mistress Pain, hailing from Bloomington, Indiana. He is THE MACHINE... JACK SINISTER!"
Jack shouts loudly while holding the top rope and enters the ring hoping up and down to stay loose as the match gets ready to start.
DICK- Micheal J. Hickenbottom the brother of our senor official will be officiating this match. This guy has an indy background himself you know Pat?"
PAT- "He is just a tadpole compared to his brother Dick. I bet this match is called all sloppy and shit like that woman I met last night at the preshow party. She showed me a new move called the Hickenbottom, I don't think I need to say which brother showed her how to do it."
DING DINGThis is the moment Joey has been waiting for he attacks Jack hard both wanting to prove they are stronger than the other. Joey slams down Jack, but he gets back up and trips out Jack's legs taking him to the mat and hitting punch after punch. Joey rolls him over and delivers a stiff right giving him room to get to his feet. Joey rushes off the ropes and back at Jack, but than he is caught with The Sinister Drop!! He goes for the pinfall. One ... Two ... JOEY NAMETH KICKS OUT!
DICK- "That was some swift movement by Mister Sinister."
PAT- "S-W-I-F-T ... Swift! You asked for it Dick, I'm not sorry. You damn right that is Jack he is The Machine! Fast and efficient!"
Jack isn't frustrated yet staying on the attack with a knee to the side of the head, and than he Irish whips Joey into the corner and follows with a clothesline, but Joey dove out of the way as Jack hits the turnbuckle Joey rushed off the ropes and hits Jack with The ThunderClash OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! Both men crash to the outside floor, and get back up still tossing punches at one another. Joey Nameth locks on a Abdominal stretch onto Jack and pulls on the bottom rope to get the leverage as he than elbows Jack in the ribs. Jack counters and pushes Joey into the steel steps! Jack glares at Nameth and than grabs him by the head and delivers a chop to his chest as he is knelt over Jack punts him hard in the face. Joey pops up grabbing his face and Jack Irish whips him at the bleachers, but Joey reverses it putting all his weight behind the Irish whip he gives Jack sending him into the fourth or fifth row of the bleachers and scattering on lookers.
DICK- "The fight is spilling to the outside."
PAT- "We have been outside this entire time Dick, stop playing like you stupid man."
Joey exits the ring and pursues Jack who is struggling to get up in the bleachers. Fans pat Joey on the back politely because of how intimidating he is and he runs over to Jack and punches him across the forehead stiffly. Joey slams Jack's face off the steel bleachers and than lifts him up above his head with a powerful military Press, he attempts to toss Jack, but The Machine counters. He slams a knee into Joey's gut and than Exploder Suplex across the bleachers! Joey screams as his back wraps around the stands and Jack kicks him so he falls off the edge onto the ground below. Than Jack climbs to the top of the bleachers and on the railing of them... Jack Twist off the top of them!
DICK- "WOW That was a MASSIVE 360 shooting star press off top of those bleachers."
{Fans: "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"}
PAT- "I am in shock Dick and I have been the one saying how talented the FUCKING MACHINE is! This is an example of that."
Jack is hurt himself but manages to rolls over and push himself up to his feet. He staggers the first few steps, but Joey Nameth is gasping for breath as he finally rolls to his stomach as Jack hovers over him taunting him and than slapping him across the face as Joey is knelt in front of him. Jack locks on his VERY aggressive cobra clutch sleeper, swinging Joey Nameth around like a rag doll before he can wrap his legs around Joey's body and Joey slowly starts to pass out. The fans try clapping to keep him fighting to stay awake, but Jack releases the hold and pushes over the uncontious Joey Nameth before he pulls him back up into a frontface lock. Jack delivers a series of knee strikes to the chest and than tightens on the front face lock again smirking arrogantly at the crowd. He drags Joey over to where Dick and Pat are and the two start freaking out.
DICK- "It looks like the action is getting close."
PAT- "Too close, I like you Jack, but I like my body a whole lot more buddy. HEY!"
Jack slams Joey's face off the announcer's table, and than laughs and attempts it again. This time Joey counters it! He drives and elbow to Jack's gut and than slams his face off the table and tosses Jack's body on top. Joey circles around and plays to the crowd just a little as well as regain some of his composure. He slams a forearm down across Jack's chest and than crawls up on the table with him. He turns Jack around and sets him up for the Big Boss Bomb... but JACK BLOCKS! He fights out of Joey Nameth's grip and than punches him before hitting THE FLATLINER! Joey is slammed through the announcers table as it collapse into pieces.
DICK- "OH MY GOD!"
PAT- "MY NOTES ... MY COKE! ... MY PORN!"
The fans break out into another holy shit chant and the Jack slowly starts to stir before he rolls around and tries to get back to his feet. He has quite a bit of problems with it and shouts at the fans as they annoy him. Jack grabs Joey's arm and drags him across the ground over to the ring and lifts his dead weight up shoving Joey back into the ring and than shouts at the crowd. "I AM THE MACHINE!" They boo him, but a few mimic him and cheer after the performance he has been putting on. He climbs up on the ring apron and than up on the top rope, Jack goes for Adrenaline Rush, but Joey rolled out of the way... JACK LANDS ON HIS FEET AMAZING! He turns around and delivers a skid kidk to Joey's gut, and than an uppercut. He Irish whips Joey into the rope, but Joey ducks the intended clothesline. He rebounds off the other side of the ring with a stiff shoulder block taking Jack down. Nameth runs off the ropes again, but Jack rolls under him and than The Sinister Drop... NO Joey reverses it! Abdominal stretch ... The Boss of Thunder has this move locked in, but Jack is trying to over power him. Joey jabs him in the ribs and tightens his hold. Jack uses all his upperbody he can and delivers an arm drag. Joey is right back up.. The ThunderCLash... Jack ducks!!
Nameth turned around and is met with an ensiguri that makes him drop like a tree. He has a small cut above his right black eye now. Jack has cuts along his back and chest from taking hard bumps. Jack grabs the dazed Joey Nameth and hits a German Suplex, he rushes over to go for a pinfall. One... Joey Nameth still able to kick out right at the Two...
DICK- "These two are taking and dealing out a lot of damage to one another you got to think that something is going to break any minuet now Pat."
PAT- "I think stuff is already broken Dick... LOOK AT OUR TABLE!"
Jack locks on the Screaming Cross Arms. Joey is trapped in it for a minuet, but is too powerful standing up with Jack in a piggy back position. He slams Jack into the corner and than again and again before flipping Jack forwards. Jack gets back up and Joey is rushing at him hitting The Big Boot! Joey goes for a pinfall, but Jack is able to kick out right after the One.
He pulls Jack up, and is countered with a German Suplex! Jack delivers mounted Forearm punches and bust Joey open than dead lifts him into a stalling suplex mocking the crowd with how good he is and why he is named The machine. he drops Joey and takes a few seconds to get up and than climbs the top rope hitting The Jack Twist! Fans are actually impressed with the move and some cheer. He covers Joey Nameth, One... Two ... Thr-Joey Nameth kicks out yet again! Jack slams his fist on the ground and gets in the Ref's face. Joey hits a spear but he hits the Ref!
DICK- "I don't think Joey meant to do that."
PAT- "Yes he did he is a dick.... Dick."
Jack hits him with a shinning wizard in the corner! followed by catching the Joey's head to perform a running bulldog. He rips off the straps of his singlet and some of the ladies go bananas over his huge muscles. He looks at the Ref being out and than gets a steel chair, he hits Sinister Weapon on the steel...NO Joey Nameth counters the move!! Joey with a hard right fist to Jack, and than a short-arm clothesline. He picks up Jack and holds him while walking around the ring getting the crowd excited, He looks behind him to make sure the chair is still there. He shouts out "LAST CALL!" and hits his fall away slam tossing Jack onto the steel chair and him flopping around grabbing his ribs before Joe crawls over him quickly for a cover. The Ref is still dizzy and slowly crawling into position to check the shoulders. He finally is able to hold still and begins the count. One... Two... JACK pushes up with his THICK NECK and gets the shoulder up off the tight gripped pin.
DICK- "I can't believe it! Jack Sinister is STILL able to kick out of whatever Joey Nameth throws at him.
PAT- "He is the Machine Dick, why do I have to keep saying this?"
Joey grabs Jack and pulls him up still in disbelief that he is still able to kick out. Joey hits a great looking right hand, and than another. He attempts a third, but Jack blocks and than rakes his eyes and plants him on the chair with a Flowing snap DDT, followed by a kip up he bashes his fist off his chest to psyche himself up and than hits The Sinister Weapon ON THE STEEL CHAIR!!! Jack breaths heavily and sweat is dripping off his face as he leans back and hooks joey's right leg with his left arm. By this time Doc is at ringside and trying to wake up the Ref more. He sees Jack with the cover and counts One... Two... Three!
DING DING DINGKristine Otto: "Here is your winner... JACK SINISTER!"
The fans boo and boo a few of them quietly applaud but are too embarrassed to admit they are cheering for the villain. Doc enters the ring and helps Jack up before raising his hand and gloating to the crowd in typical bad guy fashion.
DICK- "What a bunch of low lifes gloating the way they are. This was a great match though and I am not sure we have seen the last of these two battling it out in that squared circle."
PAT- "I told you Jack was gonna win! I told you! Mistress Pain really knows how to pick them remember where our current Universe Champion came from before he meant anything? I do... I think Mistress' World Order just might be on their way up the ladder."
===================================
In the Cell block Blake and Shane seem very pleased with one another, Blake has his sledgehammer with barbwire. The weapon is stained with the blood of Judas Tyme who him and Shane have attacked earlier. Shane has Judas' blood smeared over his chest and knuckles after having delivered heavy punches to Judas' skull to make sure that the kid is not ready for his title defense later. Legendary's plan is coming to fruition.
Blake- "Good we are so close to victory."
Shane- "Like there is any doubt that we will win though man. Hey... what are you two doing here?"
The camera zooms out and shows Adian Cash and Mark Maddow entering the scene, Adian is shaking his head and Maddow folds his arms and leans against the cold brick wall. AIdan is carrying a leather bound book with dogmarks, post it notes sticking out, and many pages frayed and torn.
A.Cash- "Not to worry fellas, not to worry at all. Maddow and I are just here because we had to see it with out own two eyes. You see Maddow back there said he knew that you were going to pull this after taking your wife's place. It's a damn shame that Mary Jane got injured because her and Josie were looking like really strong contenders and possibly strong champions."
Blake- "BLAME HIM!"
Shane holds back his big buddy who is attempting to charge at Cash's big buddy. Shane smirks because he knows what Cash's game is here and he is not going to allow it to be played. He pokes Adian in the chest and backs him up into Maddow with a little force.
Shane- "Look here Junior ... No matter where you have been or what you have done you have not been Legendary that is what our team is collectively and separately. When Josie and Blake win the tag team titles we will all win the tag team titles."
A.Cash- "Shane, you seem like a reasonable old chap, so lemme read some lyrics from the great rapper A$AP Fable." Shane, Blake, and Maddow all cock their heads and stare at Aidan as he starts to leaf through his book. Mark leans over and whispers something in Aidan's ear. "No, I don't think that's right Mark." Mark shrugs his shoulders and watches on.
A.Cash-" A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the
scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The
frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion
says, "Because if I do, I will die too."
The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream,
the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of
paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown,
but has just enough time to gasp "Why?"
Replies the scorpion: "Its my nature..."," Aidan closes the book emphatically, sending dust into to the air right in Legendary's face causing them to cough. "Shane, just remember that when your teaming with ol Balakay." Blake lunges for Aidan again, but again Shane restrains him and MaddCa$h exit while waving goodbye to Blake and Shane."
The scene fades away with the look of Shane and Blake grumpy at their encounter with Maddcash.
===================================
WORLD TAG TEAM 
CAGEMATCH DING DING DING!Kristine Otto: "Ladies and gentleman the next bout of the night will be a CAGE MATCH! There are three ways to win by pinfall, submission, or BOTH members of the team must exit the cage. Whichever team accomplishes one of these first will be your winners and WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!"
Dragon in Me by Seether plays and Josie walks out with the dementedly modified baseball bat (named Precious) that Blake had given to her some odd years ago. She swings it like she is going to hit the fans and shouts at them while Blake is walking slowly behind her both his titles draped over his shoulders. The fans boo them loudly, as the two of them make their way to the ring Josie arrogantly mocking the fans waving her hands in front of her waist and saying "next champion" while she entered through the middle rope.
Kristine Otto: "Introducing first the challengers, at a combined weight of 365 pounds, representing Legendary ... Josie Pleasure and the eXtinction and Universe Champion... Dorian Blake!"
Dorian steps over the top rope and walks behind Josie who is bent through the middle rope on the other side of the ring. While she is continuing to work the crowd for heat he holds up his titles while she smirks and does the championship taunt around her midsection again. The fans boo both of them aggressively and you can tell they are already getting under the crowd's skin.
DICK-"The fans are not in love with Legendary tonight are they Pat?"
PAT- "Nope and neither am I really. The fans are just following a tend but I dislike how Josie and Blake are turning into old senile people now days.
DICK- "What do you mean?"
PAT- "Thinking that they are still hardcore, or that they can hang with a team like DOPE .... MJ and Josie.... maybe. I love me some tatas even if they angry bitches, but come on now...does our duel champ really need Josie, does he really need to pick a fight with my boys?!"
Dope by Tyga plays and out from the back comes Brandon Young and Judas Tyme. B Young is a bundle of energy while Judas watches on with a smirk holding his tag title up and a fire extinguisher in his other. "THAT'S RIGHT BABY! We didn't Start this fire but YO YO YO We are gonna put it OUT!" Tyme's ribs are taped up from the attack he suffered earlier and he is moving slower due to looking nauseous. Young races down to the ring and does a lap around it while Judas makes his way down. The champs make their way into the ring.
Kristine Otto: "And weighing a combined weight of 481 pounds, the iWs Tag Team champions of the world, they are, Brandon Young and Judas Tyme! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE."
The fans start chanting "DOPE! DOPE! DOPE!" B Young gets excited by this and starts running back and forth in the ring. Josie turns and tells the fans to shut up before glaring at BY who still looks excited to get this match started! Judas gets him to calm down and Brandon and Judas hand over their titles to the official who hands them to the time keeper who hides them from Gao Gao, who thinks the shiny gold belts are pretty.
The scene is engulfed with dramatic music as the lights dim and the cage is lowered around the combatants!
DICK- "My goodness! My hair in on end these two teams have really been at one another's throats now for the better part of two months. I have never felt the tension between them at an all time high like this before Pat."
PAT- "DOOOOOOOOOOOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahaha! Yea!!! You know... I can't say that I have either Dick. Also don't forget that Judas helped Brandon deprive Blake of the tag team titles earlier this year and I am sure that he wants that redemption. Still I am thinking I have to go with the bad boys themselves, D-O-P-E! They are the tag team champions for 132 days for a reason Dick. Not many teams really make it this long that's why I like em."
The cage is completely lowered around the ring, and the Ref looks at the ringside crew for confirmation before he looks at both competitors to make sure they are ready. nd than he signals for the bell.
DING DING!Blake and Josie close in Josie holding her weapon. Brandon tells her to back off and than Blake while he holds his fire extinguisher ready to shoot the first that charges. Judas is holding a 2x4 piece of wood and tells Josie the splinters will hurt worse than her 'Precious." She jumps first taking a swing at him and Brandon lets loose with the fire extinguisher. Blake grabs for him and he swiftly sprays the hose at Blake now. As he sprays the champ Judas grabs Josie, but she swings her weapon up and into his stomach, than over his back before she falls forward to her knees. Brandon switches it up and turns the hose back on Josie before she can catch her breath back laughing and mocking her as he does so.
DICK-"The disrespectful youngster is going to town on everyone with that fire extinguisher, this is actually a very smart strategy."
PAT- "Its a DOPE strategy Dick!"
Brandon Young turns around and sees Blake getting back up, he sprays him but only for a second before the extinguisher is empty. He drills the empty can into Blake's forehead and than hits Drop of Youth on Josie. He keeps going climbing the corner and mounting the top rope. He is standing on the top rope and hits a diving stomp onto Josie's shoulder.
"YO! That's SWIFT BABBAY!"He eats a clothesline from Dorian Blake cutting the celebration short. Blake is still trying to catch his breath from the icy cold but is better off than Josie gasping on the ring mat. Judas shoulder tackles Blake and than gives him a belly to belly suplex. He grabs the sitting Blake with a Sleeper and tightens it in with all his might. Josie makes the save though, still gasping for air, but not wanting to leave Blake out to dry. Judas delivers a yakuza kick to her! He turns back around and gets a right fist from Blake and than an European uppercut followed with an Exploder Suplex! Blake grabs the cage and laughs madly while the fans boo him.
SUDDENLY Brandon delivers a dropkick to Blake and sends him face first into the cage and the fans scream loudly!
DICK-"The action is back and forth between these teams, the fans are booing and cheering like a coin flip."
PAT- "Yea well they all know who is Dope, the tag team champions BAYBAY!!! HAHAHA! You know I tried that word out I like it!"
Blake turns around and Brandon delivers another dropkick sending Blake back into the steel again. Blake screams and unleashes the fury on Brandon nearly decapitating him with a clothesline. Brandon is spun around hard in the air from the hit and lands on the match face down. Judas rushed at him, but Blake counters it into an Oklahoma Slam. He knelt in the middle of the ring and flexed his biceps erupting the crowd with boos. Than Blake grabs Brandon and punches him on top the head and locks his arm around Brandon's throat. He pulls him in the air while climbing up and sitting on the top turnbuckle. Blake hangs Brandon who kicks and struggles while being choked in a hangman type of way. Brandon's face is getting blue and he manages to lift his foot enough to kick Blake hard in the face, and than again. Blake drops him and than falls off the turnbuckle himself.
DICK-"Display of power here by the champion Dorian Blake."
PAT- "Brandon Young got out of it though, he is faster than fast, he is S-W-I-F-T! That's what he is Dick."
Brandon pulls Blake up by the hair and stomps him hard in the chest while keeping a hold of his long hair. He drives a knee to the back of the neck of Dorian Blake and goes for a cover. One... Just a one before the Ref signals the shoulder up.
"A little faster there, a little faster!" Brandon shouts at the Ref before he grabs Blake by the hair again and Irish whips him to the cage, but Blake counters and sends Brandon hard into the steel cage wall. Blake walks towards him, but is intercepted by Judas who hits a High Drop Kick.
Judas is back up to his feet and he pulls Josie up to a vertical base before delivering a chop to her collar bone area. Than he Irish whips her towards the corner, but Josie reverses it. She rushes at Judas, but he tosses her in the air over his head, she lands on the top turnbuckle and kicks Judas in the mouth as he grabs her foot, than hits a moonsault onto the standing Judas. She is not ready to pin him though as Josie delivers stiff punches to him she has buns on her body from where the fire extinguisher sprayed her. Josie gets up and drives a knee to Judas' face causing him to roll around in pain. She locks her arms around his neck and twist it around, the Ref checks but Judas shakes his head no.
BLAKE RUNAWAY TRAIN TO BRANDON YOUNG INTO THE STEEL CAGE! Brandon folds to the mat, Blake holds his head that hit the steel as well rolling around to fight off the sting of it. He struggles back to his feet as Josie is struggling to keep Judas down. He helps her and the two of them Irish whip Judas into the corner hard, Blake hits a BIG BODY AVALANCHE! Judas stumbles forwards and Josie delivers a neck snapping superkick! She climbs over Judas' upper body and covers him. One... Two. Just a two the Ref says.
DICK-"Nice trouble team work there by Legendary, I hate to admit it you know Pat, but they do still go it."
PAT- "You are just a fanboy Dick, a fanboy."
Josie is in disbelief about this an applies another side headlock. The crowd chants "TYME, TYME., TYME." Other than confusing Pat Cummings at commentary it starts to hype up The Time Lord. He forced his way to a standing position and reversed the headlock into a side belly to back suplex. Judas bridges beautifully and the ref goes for the count. One... That is all as Josie kicks out fast. Now Judas is the one that slows things down as he grabs Josie in a front headlock and delivers a knee to the chest an than another and another driving the air out of her lungs with each strike of his knee. He finishes the assault with a clubbing forearm across her back driving her down to the floor. He clotheslines Blake and than walks over and grabs her signature weapon off the mat and holds it up with fans cheering the idea.
DICK-"Judas is going to use Precious against Josie!"
PAT- "DO IT!!! PLEASE HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
He stalks Josie, but is unable to swing the weapon at her, he looks back and Blake punches him in the face yanking the weapon out of his grasp. Blake tosses the weapon closer to Josie as she catches her breath and continues his attack on Judas, he goes to slam his face off the steel cage, but Judas blocks and elbows Blake in the gut before hitting a Jumping hurrcarana rebound off ropes! What a MOVE FOR A BIG GUY! Judas goes for a pinfall on Blake trying to get a quick pinfall. One... Two... Josie broke it up!
Brandon was there to meet her though with a kick to the side of the knee, and than he backed off and delivered a running dropkick to the same knee!
DICK-"Josie made the save, but Brandon Young has fended her back. Now it seems like DoPe has the upperhand."
PAT- "They have had the upperhand this entire match Dick! They are the tag team champions for a reason WOW just look at em!"
Brandon and Judas look at one another with the fans starting to do their own thing and begin a "swift" chant. Brandon pats Judas on the shoulder and suggest something to him, so Judas Irish whips Brandon around and than releases him right at Dorian Blake and he hits a massive shinning wizard! Josie hobbles forward though and tosses Brandon face first into the cage. Judas walks over to her and grabs her as she is knelt over, but she swings PRECIOUS into his waist and than over his back, and once more over his chest each time she laughs and screams while hitting him. Brandon grabs her to save his partner and is also hit with the weapon he turns around and Blake has a hold of him. Brandon counters with a low blow though and him and Blake both fall to the mat.
DICK-"That's legal in here, but it appears to me that Dope is getting a bit desperate."
PAT- "That's your opinion and it is WRONG Dick. This is Dope putting it all on the line because they are D-O-P-E!"
Josie is back up to her feet and she grabs Brandon for a ddt, but he counters it and delivers another Drop of Youth! He bangs his fist off his chest all hyped up and outside the cage his homies all hoop and holla. He grabs Josie's weapon and than he swings it at her, but she dodges out of the way and punches him. The two of them begin a tug of war over the weapon, but than Blake is back up in the corner. Josie sees this and kicks Brandon in the gut before pushing him backward. Blake hits a Runaway Train to the back of Brandon sending him face first into the mat and looking like he might have whiplash or a concussion as he stares up at the lights.
DICK-"what a hell of a spear there by Blake!"
PAT- "The Runnaway Train, that's like calling a gore a spear you idiot! WHOA! Brandon Young is still with us though, I am not sure about mentally, but I can seem him alive and kicking... like a fish.... out of water. Is he ok?"
Blake is rolling around on the match two finally feeling effects from the fight against the tag team champions. Josie stumbles forward and kneels next to him to fill him in on her plan, she clutches her weapon and wraps it around Judas' head grinding it back and forth cutting his forehead deeply. She shoves him forwards and into Blake who puts him in The Decent, but NO Judas somehow!!! He reverses it with a back body toss! Josie hits Judas from behind with her Cattle Mutilation! She hooks up the badly battered Judas Tyme and the Ref slides into position. One... Two... Thr- Brandon Young breaks it up! Where did he come from?! The fans cheer as they desperately want to see Legendary lose and they don't care who has to do it.
Josie locks in the Testicular claw!! Fans boo and Brandon cries in agony as she crushes his boys in her hand. Josie showing her amazing strength lifts him into a military press. She doesn't have to hold him for very long as Blake is able to leap high enough to drop a fame asser across the back of Brandon's neck as Josie dropped him. Josie went for the cover on Brandon hooking his leg and locking her fingers as she pins him. One... Two... Thr- JUDAS BREAKS UP THE COUNT! Blood is all over him as he dives across Josie and Brandon. Quickly Blake is there to grab him, but Judas still fights through being blinded by the blood in his eyes. he hits a hard right to Blake and than a desperation SuperKick! Judas is too disoriented though and Josie capitalized by hitting a powerful Head Wound. Both of them are down and very slow.
DICK-"Something has got to give! Which team will be the first to break and slow down this pace and intensity?"
PAT- "Come on DOPE!!!!"
Blake is the first up and could go for the pin, but something has his attention. Someone is at the entrance wearing his mask! He begins to grow furious at the sight staring widely. He starts to climb the cage and gets to the top Josie looks up at him and he point at the guy who mocks him and than runs away. Blake hops down and to the outside floor and chases after the guy raging the entire way. Josie looks around and sees Brandon starting to get up, she hits an Enzuigiri on him, and than grabs his face and grinds it along the steel cage. He shouts and pushes against the cage to get away from it, but she is stronger than him at the moment. Brandon elbows Josie in the breast and she backs off as a jolt goes through her chest and she grabs at the pain. Brandon feels the blood running down his face and grumbles before locking up in a hook and collar tie up with her. He pushes her back, but than she pushes him. Brandon shifts his body behind her and delivers a headbutt to the back of her head. Josie stumbles forwards and he charges at her, but she counters with a powerslam! Josie goes for the cover. One... Two... Judas breaks it up! Fans are beginning to get ancy over things now with Josie being on her own.
DICK-"Blake has left Josie on her own, this is her match now to win or lose. Oh my God can she survive though Pat?!"
PAT- "Hell no, bye bye Josie it was nice knowing you. She can fight all she wants I don't see Josie having the heart to win this battle tonight Dick."
Josie hits Judas and he hits her back the blood is nearly clotting over his face as he staggers to keeps his balance. She goes for her Knife Bomb, but Brandon takes out her leg. Josie counters his tie up with a ddt, and she leap frogs over Judas onto the top turnbuckle before ascending the cage to the corner. Judas grabs her foot knowing Dorian has already left the cage, but Josie gets a good kick to the temple of his forehead where he has been cut badly. He winces and than staggers, so she does it again and Judas falls off the cage and cashes on top of Brandon. She pauses for a moment to collect herself and Brandon helps Judas up before heading towards her. Josie hits another MOONSAULT but this time off the top of the cage! Camera flash go off all up in the the crowd and people's mouths drop open seeing the act of desperation Josie is in to win this match. Her body hits Judas and Brandon both knocking them both back down to the mat and Josie on top of them. She pushes herself up and holds the bottom of her back. First she hits a dropkick to Judas sending him off the steel cage and gasping for air, and than she finally! ... hits the Cattle Mutilation on Brandon. Josie is feeling on fire now and bangs her fist off the mat as she hoist herself back to her feet, she sees Judas in her sights and slams his face off the cage before hitting him with another Cattle Mutilation she hooks his leg for the pinfall. One... Two... Three!!
DING DING DING!DICK-"LEGENDARY HAS ALL THE GOLD! I DON'T BELIEVE IT PAT! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!"
Kristine Otto: "Ladies and gentleman your winners via pinfall... and NEW IWS TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD!!!! ... Josie Pleasure and Dorian Blake ... the team of LEGENDARY!"
PAT- "This is horrible! I mean should I be happy? I don't think I can be seeing how Dope was dethroned here tonight...Why?! WHY?!"
DICK- "You'll have to find a way to survive Pat, just like I am sure this crowd will need to. Great job none the less to Josie Pleasure as she becomes a two time IWS world tag team champion this time with Dorian Blake. The last time she held the title was with Angel Love, and I am sure that she would have loved another dominate female team, but her and Blake got the job done tonight."
PAT- "Josie closed the deal, but I don't want to count my boys down and out. I know they can come back from this."
Josie is presented with the tag team titles and than the eXtinction and Universe championships. She looks around and sees that Blake is still not around she puts the extinction title on one shoulder and the universe on the other and climbs up the cage. When she is at the top with the titles on her shoulders she holds up the World tag team titles and collects the boos that this gives her. She smiles proudly not caring at all how the crowd is mortified at this trympth.
===================================
Dolphus Dresden is finishing being stiched up and walks out into the hallway before heading back to the showers where most of the guys were probably at by this point in the show. Standing in front of the door for Queen Sophie is Travis McLovin in his hand is a bottle of water and he is wearing a nice looking IWS Inmate uniform. Dresden can't help but raise an eye brow to this.
The Wolf- "Oui Mate, what's all this than? You know McLovin I liked what you did to Lance Diamond's brother James Ryder and I am willing to bet wit hthe right guidance that you could have actually beaten Lance Diamond and hurt your enemy even more. Whatever ... this is. It does not seem like the Hate Doctor that I have seen."
He waits there taking in the guy wondering what he will say back. Travis turns to the wolf and speaks
The Hate Doctor- "you know something your right you see me and Queen Sophie have a love hate relationship and while that seems to be far fetched i am trying not to show the evilness in me but yet stay fully focused on getting what i need."
The Wolf- "Oh and what is it that you need?"
Travis' "you know wolf as much as you want to know what i need. it is none of your concern, so i guess you can go take a walk while i try to talk business with the Queen here."
Dresden shakes his head he doesn't have time to deal with it at the moment, but he will be sure to get his two cents in down the road when the moment is right.
===================================
-Loser Leaves IWS-
Empty Cellblock match
Raven Trueblood
| vs. | Mistress Pain
|
The cameras open up inside the cell block where the practice rings are set up. The place has been blocked off from anyone else and only the Referees, Mistress Pain and Raven Trueblood are going to be permitted in the area. The doors are locked and the combatants are signaled to begin. Pain is furious with Raven for even suggesting she put her career on the line to get this match. She locks up with him and the momentum shoves him back into the brick wall, but than Raven returns the favor slamming her back against the wall. He shouts and does it again before wrapping his fingers around her throat. Pain kicks him hard in the gut to get released and holds on to throat as she tries and creates some separation. Raven advances back at her and she delivers a side kick and than hits a Spin kick. Raven stumbles, but he catches Pain as she rushes at him with a powerslam on the middle ring mat. Raven gets up and runs off the ropes for a leg drop, but Pain rolls out of the way. She is first to her feet and than hits him with a Shining wizard! Pain locks her arms around Raven's neck tightly and shouts at him.
"HOW DARE YOU! YOU THINK YOU'LL RETIRE ME!" She slams her body up in the air and back down twisting pressure onto his neck more. Raven is hurting but is choosing to laugh instead only further pissing off Mistress Pain. Raven starts to push himself to his knees but Pain keeps a tight hold on the move.
DICK- "This side headlock is wearing down Raven, but I think he might be a little stronger than Mistress Pain."
PAT- "Yeah, the Wicked one will surely teach her a lesson, he will show her what a naughty girl she has been, YEA!"
Raven is up to his feet and hits the elbow, and another and than a sparemere on Pain, he transitions it into a reverse chin lock driving his knee deep into the center of her spine while pulling back on her chin. Pain waves her arms attempting to get enough momentum to reverse the move, but Raven shifts to counter balance her weight. Pain grits her teeth together and she swings to the right, than Raven lets go of her and stomps had on her shoulder. She stumbles backwards and Raven hits her with a running bulldog! He stomps on her and than drops and elbow and goes for the cross..... Mistress Pain struggles to get out and crawls under the ropes between the rings. Raven lets go of her and returns to his feet he runs off the other side of the ring ropes and dives feet first right into her jaw. Raven rolls over and starts to laugh, he pulls Pain back up to her feet and powerbombs her over the ropes, Pain locks her legs around his head and takes Raven crashing to the outside floor with her right outside of the cells. Raven stirs first and than Pain, she is quicker to her feet while Raven seems to be favoring his back a bit. She rushed him with a running dropkick and than another shinning wizard! Mistress Pain lifts the skit of the ring apron and digs under the ring before pulling out her Whip. She cracks it over Raven and than around his neck choking him aggressively before he tugs her forwards and hits a clothesline to escape her torture. He coughs and chokes before finally being able to catch his breath, he does so just in time to block a punch from Pain and counter with a kick to the midsection. Raven drops Pain with a backbraker, he once more favors his back as he gets back to his feet this time.
The two of them collide in a whirl of lefts and rights being thrown at each other. Mistress Pain goes for sideheadlock, but Raven was still tossing up the tornado of paunches and she loses her grip fast. He stumbles away from her and looks up in time to see her coming and he ducks back into the ring to make sure to block her momentum. He laughs and mocks her, Pain takes her time though getting back into the ring and telling him to back off. She makes her way up the steel ring steps and through the ropes, the two lock up once more pushing each other from one corner to another, Raven hits her with a strong uppercut jab and Pain stumbles forward, but knocks Raven down with her. He manages to roll outside of the ring as Pain pummels him with strikes as they landed on the mat. She sits up as he exits the frustration really starting to set in on her.
DICK- "Raven is taking every shot that Pain tosses and still manages to get separation from her. I am not sure that she has any moves that are big enough to put away Raven Trueblood."
PAT- "That is because you are not a believer Dick. Mistress Pain is creating a new type of order where all will bow to her, I don't think she could do that without a lot of power man."
She slides out of the ring after him and slams him in the ribs with a right hook. She tackles him into a cell and the two of them fall through a bed from the weight. She continues to punch him as Raven crawls forward. Pain looks back and grabs the broken cell bed, and she tosses it over Raven's body. He stumbled to the floor and rolls over, she runs and stomps him hard in the stomach, and than in the lowerback where he has shown some aggravation. She hoist him up and delivers a Mistress Bomb to the steel steps that lead up the the second story of cells. Raven screams out of horrid pain and flops around on the concrete floor, Mistress licks her lips pleased with herself for such a devastating move. She pats herself on the back and mocks him as she closes back in for another attack.
"I am not going anywhere ... YOU ARE!" She shouts at him and slams her boot hard on his face. Raven grabs her and trimps her before climbing over top of her and pounding away. Pain claws at his face and manages to rake his eyes pretty badly to get him to back off of her. She holds her nose that is bloody and becomes infuriated. She hits a Single knee facebreaker on him and than a hurricanrana. She drags him back to the stairs and he fights with her exchanging punches back and forth. they get to the second tier now and Mistress Pain hits him with a Rolling neck snap! She gets to her feet and than climbs up the steps to the third level. She stops and rushes back down them hitting her move of the night, the Shinning Wizard, her knee cap bashed off the side of Raven's skull hard and she might have even hurt herself doing it, but she smirked and seemed satisfied with herself. She goes back up the steps hobbling a little now and disappears off camera. Raven gets up and shouts for her.
"PAIN! ... come out come out wherever you are..." He is unable to find her and walks over a ramp the same one that Paroxysm and him fell from during Hallowicked. He shouts loudly and the echo comes back on him.
"PAIN!"DICK- "These two are insane Pat, just bat shit crazy. Why would he chase her down? Where the hell is she leading him to? I don't like this after what happened at Hallowicked."
PAT- "She is like a snake luring her pray and waiting to strike."
She swings from a cable and down like she is Tarzan and hits a dropkick with the swing to Raven knocking him off the second level on into the center of the middle ring on the ground floor. Pain laughs at him and grabs a rope she lassos around his neck, which is highly impressive and makes one wonder what Mistress Pain really does in her free time. Raven kicks his feet while she rises the rope up and ties it in place.
DICK-"Mistress Pain wins?"
PAT- "Hell yeah she does!! Raven is gone, like... for real gone? Look there are his clothes in the middle of the ring and the rope is dangling, maybe he like evaporated or something! YES!"
She makes it down to him and climbs the turnbuckle, she is about to hit him with The Crash and the lights go out!!! they return and Pain is alone inside the ring. She looks around confused and grumbles angrily and places her hands in the air proclaiming herself winner. Raven had ran away from her by disappearing.
===================================
Backstage there is a lonely man in a trench coat that is leaving Fox River. He has on a Columbo style detective hat so as not to fully see his face, or her face? In the background we here the
saddest of songs that portrays just how this person feels about walking away at this moment right now. Who is there person and where will they go? Shall he return? We might not ever know, but we will all still wonder.
Is this Raven Trueblood? He walks off to the music stopping and taking a bow to nobody really just the empty air. The madness of the scene becomes forefront as he waves at the same void of space and seems to be blowing a kiss before continuing to walk off until seemingly to fade away to nothing.
===================================
The kid who presses play on the casio boombox and who gets paid in faygo, comes out and presses play. But nothing happens. Aidan Ca$h comes out from behind the curtain, hands the kid two two liters and tells him to scram. The kid slowly scurries off the stage and out from behind the curtain come two gentlemen and...
Pat- "Is that Rodrigo Duterte?!"
Dick- "What? No... that's..."
Pat- "Englebert Humperdink?"
Dick- "Huh?"
Pat- "Rodrigo Duterte?"
Dick- "No, you already guessed him. Folks, I'm getting word that coming out on the stage is Krist Novaselic and Dave Grohl, setting up their guitar and drums respectively. And, is that..."
Pat- "Oh, god! What the fuck is that smell?!"
Kurt Cobain "Ahem, sorry for the smell folks. I've been dead for over 20 years and it takes more than a few air fresheners to get rid of that dead body smell."
Pat- "BY GOD THAT'S THE RE-ANIMATED CORPSE OF KURT COBAIN!"
Dick- "Right you are, Patrick!"
Nirvana take the stage. Kurt slips his Fender Jag-Stang over his shoulder and approaches the mic again.
Kurt Cobain "I just wanted to say thanks to Paroxysm for helping raze me from the dead, he's a swell guy. Also, I'd like to set the record straight: yes, Courtney did kill me and now, thanks to the next iWs Universe champion I will have my revenge. Now that that's out of the way, this song is called 'You Know You're Right'"
The familar brooding chords to You Know You're right start up as Grohl begins to bang away at the drums. As Kurt begins to sing, Paroxysm steps out from behind the curtain to cheers. Paro starts bobbing his head and points at Kurt Cobain and the rest of Nirvana before temporarily bowing to them. Kurt gives him a thumbs up and Paro keeps walking. Just off the stage, Aidan Ca$h and Mark Maddow have jumped into the crowd and started a mosh pit. Paroxysm seeing what's happened, rushes over to them and stage dives into the crowd. Aidan Ca$h, Mark Maddow, and a few other fans catch him and Paro crowd surfs to the ring.
Kristine Otto: "Making his way to the ring, standing 6 foot nuthin and weighing in 213 pounds and 7 & 3/4 ounces, he's the high flyin, death defyin, SUPER luchadore... PAROXYSM!"
Paroxysm climbs the turnbuckle and raises his arms.
The large man walks out from behind the curtain as the song 'All Dried Up, Tied And Dead To The World ' by Marylin Manson plays. Beside him walks Mary Jane she has a beaming smile on her face clearly proud of her husband, even with her arm still in a sling.
Kristine Otto: "Now making his way to the ring being accompanied by Mary Jane, he hails from The Bottomless Pit and weighs two hundred and forty-five pounds, and stands at six foot six inches tall. He is The King of Death, the fourth iWs Triple Crown Champion, the first Grand Slam Winner, and the current, reigning, Universe AND eXtinction champion, Dorian Blake!"
Dorian steps up on the ring apron and climbs up the turnbuckle as he looked around the place and stretched his arms out like he was hanging on a crucifix. Mary Jane enters the ring, the big guy hops down and loosened up his neck some more and wrist as he listens to Mary Jane talks to him as his theme song fades out and gives him a kiss before exiting the ring.
Kristine Otto: "This match is for the iWs Universe Championship and is a 60 minute, falls count anywhere, Iron Man match. At the end of the 60 minutes, whichever competitor has the most victories via pinfall or submission, will be the new Universe Champion!"
DING DING DING!
Dick- "And just like that, the match is underway!"
Pat- "This match is going to be cray cray!"
Dick- "Cray indeed, Pat!"
Paroxysm and Dorian Blake start off by circling each other in the ancient Tarahumara way - Dorian Blake deliberately waving his arms back and forth above his head and Paroxysm crouched down and shuffling his arms at one side and then the next. Their cicle narrows and narrows before finally narrowing so much that they are shoulder to shoulder.
Abruptly, both men stop. Calaborate and listen to the sounds of each others punches connecting with each others faces! Blake, grabs ahold of Paro tightly, throws him like a harpoon (daily and nightly) into the ropes. Paro bounces off and tries to shoulder tackle Blake, but the big dog doesn't move. Instead, they start wildly trading blows. Paro starts to gain an advantage, but Blake shoves him off quickly. Dorian Blake takes a step back to re-evaluate the situation. Paro doesn't want to stop and re-evaluate so he charges for Blake. Blake tries to duck between the ropes to keep Paro away, but there is no rope break in this match so Paro quickly takes advantage of Blake being in between the ropes and quickly hooks the middle rope over the top rope, trapping Blake in between the ropes! Paro delivers a few kidney punches before running over to the turnbuckle and jumping over the ropes to the the apron. Blake strugles trying to break himself free while Mary Jane shouts at the ref to help him out. Paro flips referee Lyle P. Fuentes the bird and flips Mary Jane the bird at the same time!
Pat- "2BIRDS!"
Dick- "Paroxysm is feeling quite feisty right now!"
Kurt Cobain - "Yeah, that's my guy."
Pat- "I love you Kurt, but you really do smell awful."
Kurt Cobain - :-(
Paroxysm runs straight at Dorian Blake and delivers a running knee straight to the side of Blake's head! The force knocks Blake free from the ropes and he falls back into the ring. Paroxysm watches to see where Blake finally stops. Paroxysm sizes Blake up from the apron, leans back while holding onto the top rope and hits a springboard Marie Antoinette!! Paroxysm quickly makes the cover and hooks the leg!
One..
Two...
THREE!
Kristine Otto: "Paroxysm with the pinfall at the 4:57 mark! Paroxysm leads 1-0."
Dick- "I did not expect to see that! Paroxysm has come out on fire and completely caught Blake off guard."
Pat- "He caught me off guard too! I wanted to shotgun a beer with each pinfall, but I haven't even had time to order a beer yet!"
Paroxysm tries for another pinfall but Lyle P. Fuentes can't even get to a full one count before Blake shoves Paro off of him. Blake rolls back and kips up to his feet. Paroxysm charges for him, Dorian Blake sidesteps it and hits a drop toe hold, sending Paroxysm face first into the middle turnbuckle. Blake quickly whips around, hooks Paroxysm around the waist and sends Paroxysm flying with a vicious German suplex. Paroxysm lands awkwardly on his neck and Blake stalks over to him. Blake kneels down and starts punching Paroxysm in the face with straight rights. "You think that's funny to get a pinfall on me? HUH?! PEAZY ANSWER ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!" Blake shouts as he continues to pound on Paroxysm. Paroxysm manages to work an arm free and delivers a forearm to Blake's face and a second one to knock Blake off of him.
Both men get back to their feet and Dorian Blake charges Paroxysm and attempts a clothesline, but Paroxysm ducks and both me go running off the opposite ropes. Paroxysm attempts a clothesline but Blake blocks it and reverses it into a German suplex into a pin.
"One.."
"TWO..."
"THR..."
No! Paroxysm kicks out just in time. Blake is outraged and confronts Lyle P. Fuentes about the count. Blake felt as if the count was a bit slow and referee Lyle P. Fuentes disagrees and says so.
"No, good sir, that count was accurate, why, I would say you could even set a metronome to that count it was so accurate. And, Mr. Blake, Mr. Ysm kicked out just in time," Lyle P. Fuentes stated calmly and clearly.
"He did not! That was a 3 and you know it!" Blake opined, getting right in Lyle P. Fuentes's face.
"He did too, Monsieur Blake. Young master Parox kicked out just in time and that is why I only counted to two and 6/10ths and not two and 10/10ths for that would have been an inaccurate count. Oh yes, that count would have been 4/10ths too much," Lyle P. Fuentes replied.
"Good god man, are you a heathen of some sort?" Blake replied indignantly. "Reduce your god damn fractions, you uncivilized boor."
"I beg your pardon, sir!"
"6/10ths?! 4/10ths?!" Blake shouts as he pulls at his hair, "Those reduce to 3/5ths and 2/5ths respectively! How can you be so dense?!"
"I drank two fifths last night, so I don't have those with me, but, I do have two fists!" Parox Ysm shouts as he reappears in the frame and begins pummelling Dorian Blake with his two fists! Lyle P. Fuentes takes a step back to avoid the scrum that has broken out between the current and former Universe Champion.
Pat- "2Fists!"
2Chainz- "Tru!"
After starting off strong, Paroxysm begins to fade and the big dog gains control by over powering Paroxysm. Blake lands a side suplex and follows it up by tossing Paroxysm out of the ring while the fans shower him with boos. Not literally, but figuratively. (How would that even work, if it was done literally? there are all sorts of various "boos" [which could get even more complicated {or less, depending on how you look at it} if you were interpreting "boos" as "booze", since they sound the same] there's a boo programming language that's based off C# [pronounced c-sharp for those at home wondering], there's also Boo the worlds cutest dog, there's the slang boo used for you a significant other [typically, but not always, a male significant other], and then there is boo from the Mario video games. After thinking that all out, I'm gonna go with the last one.) And then they shower Blake with boo's literally! Tens of Hunderds of Boo's (from Mario) begin to rain down on Blake, thanks to hologram technology. Blake is thrown off at first, and once he realizes it's a hologram, he gets enraged and hops out of the ring and starts to try and fight the fans! All of them! (except in my mind, he's fighting actual fans: box fans, ceiling fans, oscilating fans, those little handheld fans that don't really do anything but people still use em, and even a computer fan {which didn't put up much of a fight}. after defeating the first level of fans, Blake steps forward into the next room to challenge the boss fan: a big, dumb, giant, axial fan {kinda like the ones that you see on the sidelines of football or futbol games, except this one is real big!} and Blake fights the fan pretty evenly, getting in some good shots from a distance, but the big fan is just too big and too dumb to stop being a fan, what will Blake do to defeat the evil boss fan?!) Meanwhile, back in reality, Blake is just yelling at some actual human fans, when someone taps Blake on the shoulder and Blake spins around wildly and throws a punch and connects with a DOOR!
Dick- "Oh no! The hidden door trick!"
Pat- "My oh my, how many times is Blake gonna fall for that one?"
Kurt Cobain "Wait, that is something that is reoccuring?"
Dick- "Naturally."
Kurt Cobain "Somebody watched too much Bugs Bunny and Wile E Coyote as a kid..."
Pat- "Kurt, with all due respect, you're fucking dumb. That isn't even possible!" Pat says before he returns his attention to his smartphone one which he's streaming an episode of Loony Toons, you know, the one where an anvil falls on Wile E Coyote's head. Yeah, that episode. I love that episode.
Blake shakes his hand in pain and lets out a deep, dark, primal scream and curses Paroxysm's name in at least 4 different languages and then Blake opens the door to find that no one is on the otherside. Not just Paroxysm is missing, but everyone that was in the prison. In fact, it isn't even the prison that Blake is in anymore, but no, instead, it's the final boss fan that Blake is standing face to fan with! And Blake does the only thing you can do when your face to fan with a fan, he begins to talk into to hear how funny his voice sounds. Then he remembers that he has to fight this fan to get back to that giant rock that measures 24,901.461 miles around it's waist and so Blake does a back handspring to create some space with the fan. Blake searches and looks and tries to figure out the best way to attack this big, dumb, giant fan, and then he thinks to himself, how can I truly defeat this fan, and not just score a blow (no pun intended {okay, I take that back, there was a pun intended}) or two. And so Blake thinks "Self, what if I spun around in a circle really really fast and what if I held my arms out when I did it, is it not true that I would create a giant vortex? Surely yes, that is true, but will that force be enough to vanquish this villanious opposition of mine? Hmm..." and so Blake pulls out his handy dandy pocket calculator, his trusty notepad, and his lucky graphite pencil and he begins to jot down some calculations.
WHEN HORRIFICALLY THE PENCIL BREAKS! OH my! This would be the worst possible time for a pencil to break. Just earlier today, when back in his cell block getting ready for his big title match, Blake was thinking to himself "Self, should I or should I not bring my small pencil sharpener? No, not enough space in my tights, I'll just bring my lucky pencil, some paper, my calculator, two airplane bottles of Jose Cuervo, a comb, a brush, a compact mirror, some lipbalm, nail clippers, some duct tape wrapped around itself, a few tissues, my phone, my social security card, my passport, my sam's club membership card, these coupons that are set to expire soon {I really do need to use these, hopefully my match will end early and I'll finally have time to get some grocery shopping done}, oh yeah, my grocery list, a few rubber bands, some chewing gum {some unchewed, some pre-chewed (I'm not sure how sore my jaw is going to be after this match so I might want something that's already broken in)}, my baseball glove, a softball {that would be pretty swell if Paro brought his glove too, we could spend some of this match getting ready for the upcoming softball season, I'm not gonna let us get beat by those punks over at Pontiac Correctional facility this year!} {should I bring my bat as well so we can work on some popups and grounders? NO! God what a stupid idea that was, arm strength first, then get to the hitting and fielding. If you do it in the other order everything will get all whopperjawed}, a Shick Micro 7 Super Deluxe Limited Edition disposable razor, an extra eraser just in case something happens with his pencil's eraser, a book of poems by Arthur Rimbaud that I'm working on translating from French to English, my kite {just in case there's a nice gust of wind}, a package of crackers, my cassette player, and this 8x10 portrait of Madeline Albright. Jeez, I'm going out with quite a bit less than normal - quite the minimalist you might say - and there is no way I can justify bringing this small pencil sharpener."
When we get back to Blake and the Giant Axial Fan, Blake is flying his kite, happy as a boy can be, laughing and playing as the kite twists and turns in the wind of the big, dumb, giant fan. And then he realizes that this is no time for play and he immediately drops the kite and grabs his Shick Micro 7 Deluxe Limited edition disposable eraser and begins using it to sharpen his pencil! Ingenius! And, with his pencil sharpened he can resume his calculations!
Only to realize that the vortex he would create would only create 3/5ths of the necessary force, so instead, Blake decides to just unplug the big, dumb, giant fan from the wall. A loud victory alarm squeels out and streamers and baloons fall from the sky and a few Japanese girls (who I've been told are legal, but truthfully they could be any age from 14-34 years old) and they present Dorian Blake with a trophy of a miniature big, dumb, giant fan and Blake holds it triumphantly over his head. Abruptly, the music stops. The girls stop giggling. The girls wave and say goodbye in japanese and the floor underneath Blake gives out and he's sent back to Fox River prison, without his Trophy (sad) or his paper, lucky pencil, small calculator, kite, and Shick Micro 7 Super Deluxe Limited edition disposable razor, and the fans (the human ones) are all back and Blake is leaning against the door when he hears a knock from the other side. "Who is it!?" he demands to know, and he checks through the peephole, but doesn't see or hear anyone. There's another knock. "UHhuh, I'm not opening that door Paro, not this time!"
"That's okay," Paro says. Blake turns around and sees that Paro was behind him the whole time! Blake opens the door and tries to run through to get away from Paro but he runs right into the big, dumb, giant fan!
Kurt Cobain "It might be because I'm still high from that heroin that I shot up just before my death, but what the fuck is going on here?"
Dick- "Indeed, Kurt, what the fuck indeed indeed!"
Kurt Cobain "Huh?"
Paul London- "Tick tock..."
Blake lets out a scream of frustration and turns and runs back through the door and is met by a dropkick from Paroxysm! Paroxysm mounts Blake and begins to punch him, but Blake shoves Paro off. Paro charges at Blake, but Blake sidesteps him at the last second and Paro runs into the ring apron. Blake recovers quickly and rolls Paro into the ring and then rolls in after him. Paro gets to his feet and tries to kick Blake before Blake can get up, but Blake catches Paro's foot and turns it into a single underhook suplex into a pin! Paro manages to kick out before the two count. Blake thinks for a moment about arguing the count but remembers everything that happened after the last time he argued the call. A shiver goes down his spine. He decides to keep his mouth shut and keep bringing the fight to Paro. Blake with some stomps on Paro, not letting Paro get up.
Paro tries to catch Blake's boot, but Blake gets free by shoving Paro back, knocking Paro back to the ground. Blake picks Paro up and throws him into the ropes. Paroxysm tries a crossbody splash, but Blake catches him! Blake hoists Paroxysm onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry position and begins the Flash in the Night! Spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning and STOP. Blake gorilla presses Paroxysm into the air, with his face up, and as Paroxysm is coming back down, Blake catches him with...
Pat- "BY GOD HE JUST HIT THE FLASH IN THE NIGHT INTO THE MARK!"
Kurt Cobain "woah, that was pretty nifty."
Dick- "Nifty indeed Kurt, indeed indeed."
Blake goes for the cover and hooks the leg!
"One.."
"TWO..."
"THREE!"
Kristine Otto: "Dorian Blake with the pinfall at 25:21. The match is tied at 1-1."
Blake goes for the quick follow up pin, but Paro kicks out at 2. Blake slams his fist on the matt and goes to complain about the count, but again, thinks better of it. Instead, Blake rolls out of the ring and reachees under the apron and fishes out a table! Well, he didn't literally fish it out, but that would be... NO DON'T DO IT, DON'T GO DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE AGAIN!
Phew! That was a close one! Blake PULLS the table out from under the ring and slides it under the ropes and into the ring. Paroxysm starts to stir and rolls over to use the ropes to pull himself up. Meanwhile, Blake sets up the table diagonally in the center of the ring. Blake starts to stalk Paroxysm and gets his hands on him to send him into the corner. Blake starts to lift Paro to the top rope, but Paroxysm reverses and gets Blake into the corner before he starts pummeling him shifting from head shots to kidney shots before hoisting Blake up on the top turnbuckle. Paroxysm pauses to catch his breath and begins to try and climb the turnbuckle. Paroxysm gets him and Blake standing up on the top turnbuckle! Paroxysm tries for a superplex through the table, but Blake blocks it! Paroxysm regains control with some punches and eventually stuns Blake with a stiff forearm to the face! Paroxysm motions to the crowd and tries for a super frankensteiner!!
BUT BLAKE CATCHES HIM AND REVERSES INTO A TOP ROPE POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE!
"Holy shit! Holy Shit!" chant the fans (both human and non-human fans chant together, as one)!
Pat- "Fuck my stars! That was nuts!"
Kurt Cobain "Jesus, are they okay?"
Dick- "No. They're dead."
Kurt Cobain "Too soon."
Lyle P. Fuentes starts a 10 count before he remembers that this is an ironman match and a tie doesn't do shit, so instead he decides to check on the competitors. After checking on Paroxysm he throws up the X arm signal before laughing and saying "j-k j-k, he's fine" Blake rolls over and drapes his arm over broken Paroxysm.
"One.."
"TWO..."
"THREE!"
Kristine Otto: "Dorian Blake with the pinfall at 31:41. Blake leads 2-1..
Both men lay there and Lyle P. Fuentes, who got lost in thought for a moment, starts to count the pinfall again before remembering that he never removed Blake's hand from broken Paroxysm's body after the last pin. So he removes Blake's arm and both men occasionally twitch and spasm. Referee Lyle P. Fuentes decides to use this opportunity to order a gyro and a soda pop from one of the concession vendors walking the aisles. As Lyle P. Fuentes eats his gyro he wonders about life's many mysteries, paramount among these quandaries is whether or not "gyro" is pronounced "year-O" or "JI-row." Unable to come to a conclusion, he throws down his sandwhich that he'd rather not mention by name and pouts while he steals sips from his unsuspecting soda pop.
Blake and Paroxysm start to move and both slowly get to their feet, using each other to help themselves stand. Seeing this, referee Lyle P. Fuentes slowly sets down his soda pop and resumes his refereeing, he's happy now as he's forgotten all about the pronunciation of that sandwhich that I'd rather not name.
As Blake and Paroxysm reach their feet, they realize that they were using each other to stand and both recoil in horror. Then, remembering that they hate each others guts, they start to punch each other with force comparable to petting a small dog. It's also the same force comparable to petting a normal size dog of normal temperment, but less force than one uses to pet a normal size dog of poor temperment. But their blows have more force than one uses to pet a dog with distemper. The punches use up more energy than they inflict damage on their opponent.
Both men realize this, so they stop punching each other and instead try to goad the other person into throwing a punch.
"I bet you won't punch me, you big giant baby," Paroxysm exclaims.
"I could punch you if I wanted to. You're not worth my time! Plus, I know you won't punch me, chicken fucker!" Blake retaliates.
"
" Paroxysm says, "that was kinda mean."
"Damn, you're right, " Blake says solemnly. "Do you want to throw the softball?" Blake says as he pulls out the softball and softball glove he had in his tights.
"No! You're a big meanie head!" Paroxysm replies.
"
" Blake says. "Fine, I wasn't really gonna throw the softball with you anyway," Blake lies.
Both men cross their arms and turn their backs to each other. Tentatively, Lyle P. Fuentes picks up his soda pop and steals a few more sips, but only after exercising extreme caution to make sure that no one is looking. Except everyone is looking because Blake and Paroxysm still aren't fighting. In fact, Blake and Paroxysm have both stopped turning their backs on each other to watch Lyle P. Fuentes sip soda pop. Realizing that all eyez are on him Lyle P. Fuentes turns beet red. But then he thinks to himself "well, if all eyez on me, that kinda makes me like Tupac!" and Lyle P. Fuentes gets proud and puffs out his chest and takes a big dumb sip of soda pop.
And then Paroxysm slaps the soda pop out of Lyle P. Fuentes' hands.
Lyle P. Fuentes is sad now.
Blake slaps Paroxysm, partially because he wanted to slap that soda pop out of Lyle P. Fuentes's hands first, but mostly because he's still sad that Paroxysm said that he didn't want to throw the softball. "If this sumbitch ruins our softball season, I swear to all that is holy..." Blake thinks to himself before being distracted by Paroxysm slapping him back. The two giants of iWs and two of great fighters in fighting history take turns turning each others cheek through the art of slapping. Eventually, Paroxysm gains the upper hand. He gains the lower one too and executes a SIDEWINDERDDTOUTTANOWHERE! Paroxysm makes the cover!
"One.."
"TWO..."
"THRE-"
NO! Blake kicks out at 2 and 6/10ths!
Pat- "Paroxysm got greedy or lazy there and forgot to hook the leg. I keep telling him to hook the leg..."
Kurt Cobain "I keep telling him to sweep the leg, johnny."
Dick- "No Pat, you keep telling him to go get a hooker for you."
Pat- "Yeah, that's what I meant."
Kurt Cobain "I married a hooker."
Dick- "Indeed Kurt, indeed."
Paroxysm lifts Blake up and goes for a suplex, but Blake counters with a nothern lights suplex of his own. Blake rolls through and lifts Paroxysm up and...
Dick- "Dorian Blake locks in the Sagittarius Bow! With no way to break the hold Paroxysm is going to have to fight his way out of it, but can he?"
Pat- "My sources say 'No!' See, I just checked with my Magic 8 Ball and that's what it told me."
Dick- "Pat, a magic 8 ball is a toy that kids use that gives random answers. You just snorted an eighth of an ouce of coke. They're not the same thing."
Kurt Cobain "Says you Dick. I feel quite magical right now after snorting half that."
"C'mon Paro! Tap out you little bitch. This is for your stupid friend Rabbit! Thinking he could be me... there's only one Dorian Blake!"
Referee Fuentes checks on Paro, but Paro doesn't give up. Actually, Paro doesn't do anything. Fuentes raises Paro's hand to see if he's out cold or nah. Paro's hand falls straight down. "One!" Lyle Fuentes shouts and he raises Paroxysm's arm again. And again Paro's arm falls straight down. "TWO!" Lyle P. Fuentes shouts and again he raises Paro's arm.
Paro's arm falls straight down!
"Three!!" Lyle P. Fuentes shouts and signals the submission to Kristine Otto.
Kristine Otto: "Dorian Blake with the submission at 39:37. Dorian Blake leads 3-1."
Lyle P. Fuentes makes Dorian Blake break the hold. Dorian Blake goes for the quick cover!
"One.."
"TWO..."
"THR..."
Dick- "NO! Paro kicks out at the last second!"
Dorian Blake reaches down to grab Paro, but Paroxysm counters with a kick to the gut. Somewhere, from deep down in the depths of Paroxysm's constitution, he finds the strength to bring the fight to Blake again. Blake tries to counter with a whip into the ropes, but Paroxysm reverses. Paroxysm follows right behind Blake and hits Blake with a lariat right as Blake bounces off the ropes. The force from the clothesline sends both men sprawling out of the ring! Dorian Blake is stunned, while Paroxysm starts to rummage around under the ring for something.
Dick- "What's Paroxysm looking for? His signature steel chair?"
Pat- "It doesn't look like it, since he just passed up many chairs."
Dick- "OH JESUS, IT'S THE ONE THING THAT NO MAN WITH WORKING OLFACTORY ORGANS CAN STAND?"
Pat- "The rotting corpse of one of the giants of the Alt Rock movement?"
Kurt Cobain "
"
Dick- "NO, WORSE!"
Pat- "No, it can't be..."
Dick- "Yes, Patrick, it is indeed. Paroxysm has grabbed a full bottle of Axe Body Spray!"
Pat- "An EXPIRED bottle of Axe Body Spray."
Dick- "Right you are Pat. This must be a little gift from his friend / stalker Hot Carl!"
Kurt Cobain "Forgive me, because of the whole dead for 23 years thing, but, what the fuck is axe body spray."
Pat- "His naivette is so wonderful. What I wouldn't give to not know of Axe Body Spray. Kurdt, do you know who Nickelback is?"
Kurt Cobain "Who what is?"
Pat- "OH MY GOD YOU MUST BE LUCKIEST PERSON ALIVE!"
Kurt Cobain "Yeah, other than the whole rotting corpse thing and having been dead for 23 years, life's pretty swell Pat."
Pat- "I'm so jealous..."
In addition to the Axe Body Spray, Paro has also grabbed Blake's old mask! Instead of directly attacking Blake, Paroxysm puts on a mask with a ventilator and sprays the inside and the outside of the mask with the body spray. Paro sets the mask down and reaches for a chair, just in time too, since Blake had just gotten back to his feet and starts for Paro. Paro quickly turns around and hits Blake in the stomach with the top of chair knocking the wind out of Blake and sending him down to one knee! Paro reaches back and swings the chair! Blake is down to all fours and Paro slams the chair down on his back once more for good measure. Then, Paro grabs Blake's old mask and holds it high above his head and stalks toward Blake. "FACT: Axe Body Spray is the 2nd worst smell in the world. FACT: Sorry Kurt, but your rotting corpse is the worst smell ever. FACT: I'm punching you right now! *Paro punches Blake* FACT: Did you know that back in November of 1946, the first slinky production run of 400 units sold out in 90 minutes. *Paro starts to put the mask on Blake's face, Blake tries to fight him off.* FACT: The slinky's were priced at $1 a piece. FACT: in 1946 $1 is the same as $12.40 today!" Blake shoves Paro off of him before Paro can secure the mask over Blake's head. Blake manages a power clothesline, sending Paroxysm to the ground and creating some space for himself. It is now that Blake starts gasping for air. He nearly fainted from holding his breath when Paroxysm was trying to apply the mask, and by my count he was 7.. neigh, 8 breaths shy of passing out when he was finally able to break free. Both men are slow to get to their feet. They get to standing at the same time, and Blake charges Paroxysm, trying to hit the Runaway Train, but Paro jumps up and Blake crashes into the steel steps! Paro quickly turns and delivers a few stomps to Blake's back before...
Pat- "Ca$h Crab! Ca$h Crab! Paroxysm has locked in the Ca$h Crab!"
Dick- "Indeed, he has Pat, indeed indeed."
Kurt Cobain "Ca$h Crab? I like it."
Dick- "Paro is really reaching deep on this one, straining Blake's back."
Blake looks for something to use to help break the hold, but Paroxysm has it locked in tight! Blake sees a chair that is under the ring (Paroxysm left the apron cover turned up when he was searching for the expired Axe Body Spray) tries to crawl his way over to it! He inches closer and closer! Blake is almost within arms reach, but Paroxysm stands up and walks back toward the announcers! Blake tries to fight, but has no choice but to tap out!
Kristine Otto: "Paroxysm with the submission at 56:13. Dorian Blake leads 3-2."
Pat- "Paroxysm closes the gap, but does he have enough time to win?"
Dick- "Less than four minutes to secure one fall to tie and two to win? It's a tall task, but if anyone can do it it's Paroxysm!"
Kurt Cobain "What happens if it's a tie?"
Dick- "Great question! I don't think anyone has thought that far ahead!"
Lyle P. Fuentes separates Paroxysm from Dorian Blake. Paroxysm hits a quick drop kick on Blake and goes for the quick cover but, even with a bit of a quick count from Lyle P. Fuentes, Blake still kicks out in plenty of time. Paroxysm hooks the leg and tries again but Blake kicks out before Lyle P. Fuentes even counts to one. Paroxysm, who's feeling it now, lifts Blake up by the hair, hooks Blake's head under his arm, and executes a snap suplex. Paroxysm drags Blake into position by the turnbuckle. Paro climbs to the top rope and motions for the Marie Antoinette! But before Paro can jump, Blake rolls out of the ring. Blake starts to walk toward some of the (human) fans who are booing him and Blake points to his head to remind them how smart he is. The (human) fan Blake walks up to ignores Blake and instead just points up over Blake's shoulder. Blake turns and Paro leaps off the top rope nailing a crossbody splash! Both men are down and separated and in pain. And Lyle P. Fuentes rolls out of the ring to check on both men. Paroxysm starts to stir and rolls over to cover Dorian Blake!
"One.."
"TWO..."
DING DING DING!
"THREE!"
Pat- "God Damn! Paro managed a final pinfall, but it occurred after the bell so it doesn't count!"
Dick- "Put your pants back on Pat, it woulda lead to a tie, which we still have no idea what woulda happened if it were a tie..."
Kristine Otto: "Your winner, by a final fall margin of 3-2, and still Universe Champion Dorian Blake!"
Referee Lyle P. Fuentes raises Blake's hand and hands over the Universe championship belt to him. Blake snatches it out of Fuentes' hands and holds it high above his head. Suddenly, he turns and charges Paroxysm and smacks Paro upside the head with the title. "I TOLD YOU THAT YOU'RE NEVER GETTING THIS BACK!" Blake shouts as he holds the title in front of Paroxysm's face. "And now, Paro, I'm taking your career!" Blake lifts up the fallen Paro and throws him over toward the announcer's table. But, well, since that was destroyed awhile ago, it's in a much differnt form now - it's a giant cardboard box from a refrigerator unit that Dax Clark found out back and decided would work well enough.
Blake rolls out of the ring and tosses Paroxysm into the ring post. Paroxysm is down and writhing in pain. Blake stalks over to Paro, lifts Paro up and drags him toward the announce table. Blake sets Paro up and delivers The Mark! Smashing Paroxysm through the makeshift cardboard box announce table! Paroxysm lays, motionless, from a distance, one can't be certain that he's even breathing. Refereee Lyle P Fuentes rushes out to check on him, but Dorian Blake shoves Fuentes to the ground. The crowd boos angrily, and some fans throw their beer and faygo cups at Blake. Blake laughs as each one hits him. "THIS IS YOUR HERO! What a joke! HAHA! A joke just like all of you!" Blake shouts as he lifts Paro's carcass off the ground and drags him over to the side of the ring. "This is the end, my only friend, the end!" Blake shouts as sets Paro up and delivers a vicious apron power bomb. Paroxysm crumples in a heap as Blake struts around celebrating himself. Then, out of the corner of his eye, Blake spies his Axe covered old mask up. "Ahh.. good times, old friend," Blake says to his mask as he lifts it up and starts to walk toward Paro. Blake tries to put the mask on Paro right when "Madd World Ca$h" starts to play over the PA system and MaddCa$h come running out from the back! Blake sneaks a few more shots in on Paroxysm before evaluating his best way to exit the area unscathed. Blake manages to get away before MaddCa$h can get to him. As MaddCa$h protect Paro and medics come down to help tend to Paroxysm, Blake is joined on the ramp-way with Josie Pleasure, Mary Jane, and Shane Trudex. The members of Legendary rejoice as the show comes to a close.
" Paroxysm says, "that was kinda mean."