team clark mystery member

[AJ]

Team Clark's Mystery Member

^{Who is it? The promo will reveal all... or will it?}

[Aidan Ca$h]

Yeah, I know Dax Clark.

My name is Ishmael. No, it isn't either - but I am a pretty big dick like moby. That's not true either, it's actually average size for my size... wait, what was I talking about?

Let's try this again. As far as you know, I'm some "mystery member" [that's what she sed] who knows Dax Clark. This is true. I've known that sumbitch for quite some time. He's something of a specialist and I'm quite the hot-shot. Or at least I was. Years ago. Now I'm just another guy, down in the gutter, wandering through the U-S-of-god-damn-A - the greatest country in the world - driving around in a late model Buick Regal on a mission from god. No, not that God. My god. I don't want that God. What with his capitalized G and his fancy robe and beard. No sir, not for me. I'm on a mission to find an old friend - who, as rumor has it, is hanging out in some backwoods Minnesnowta town trying to be a monk or some shit. He turned into a real recluse sumbitch. If ya get hurt in the right [or is it wrong?] way, I think we could all end up hiding out in a remote shack. If he had the balls, he probably woulda shot himself - guess they don't make em like they used to. Which is good for me, because I need to find him. And I need to find him, because I know Dax Clark.

This search isn't about WHO I'm looking for - it's about finding meaning in the search. No it isn't, that's just really psycho-bullshit that I tell myself to keep me focused. Yeah it works sometimes.

What will follow in these random experiences that I share with you is the history of my search told in a completely arbitrary manner in which a few [all?] facts will be manipulated by me to make me look better so that it will net me some pussy. Or it's because I'm be too drunk and high to remember the facts.