What is Love?Chasity (Chaz) Clemens
Things didn't start with Chaz but they were suppose to end, yet things kept spiraling out of control. The woman you marry should stay with you unless you drive her away right? Did I drive her away, she said it is because she is a vampire. So does that make what I am bad too? I don't even care anymore, she at least could have found someone else to stick Alison with instead of forcing fatherhood on me when I am not ready. What the fuck do I do, how the fuck do you be a father?? My father always told me I was stupid, or why didn't you learn anything at school. I am not gonna talk about it when it took me all day not to kill people for making fun of me and Lorien, I am not gonna talk to him about that shit...was he stupid? I hate how she made me feel like a little boy again, she is like everyone else that told me they love me. It is only for a short time and then they move on with their life as if I was just there to fill the time in till something better comes along.
Candice (candy) Lockhart
I thought she was the one, I don't think I am any good for her. Where is she? I only went out with her because she reminded me of what I can not have anyway. Did I even love Chaz Clemens? I mean yeah I love Alison, I watched her being born. I feinted when Chaz told me she was pregnant, and I feinted when Joanna delivered the baby... I was in the Coven of the Bloodline, and I was aligned with The End...that's when I found her right after The End. That fire should have killed me and instead Chaz brought me back to life, gave me this illusion of love and left me alone in the world with a reminder (Alison) everyday that she is no longer with me. Candy seemed so free willed and I loved that, I know who she made me think of. Her eyes changed colors like when you stare into a gas leak on the street, when they went that fiery blue I seen her....her brilliant smile that taunts me and dares me to cross a line I know I can't. Candy probably noticed, she set me up and we all know that...why else are we right back here in Pain's dungeon when we left to find her, and we left to save her like she saved us...I was fooled by my own illusion.
Josie Pleasure
Hot and wild, and her stare was like staring back into the sun. I hated it, but I loved it. She would try and bite my lip off and I feed off that aggression, then Maxine took me away before the harpies all tore me limb from limb. She moved on she is with Shane now not like they are together every second of the day, but that's who has her heart. Where is my heart? Will I ever feel it again? It's locked away so nobody can touch it, I know because I gave it to Candy. Why didn't we give it to Chaz? I don't wear my wedding band anymore it has been a couple months now since I stopped wearing it because why care for someone that is not here? I still... I still feel like it is around me, I still remember saying I do to Chaz... and I did it because I had to. Josie has someone so I needed to have someone to otherwise I would just think about it over and over again. This is where it started, when I knew I couldn't pick between Joanna or Evie and Josie appeared out of nowhere and was intrigued by my change... maybe that is all I am to her...something to feed her fantasies... I am not anything she cares about... I am just a fantasy to her...
Mistress (?) Pain
Here I am... in this dark bedroom chained by the ankles to the foot post. It's not that I can not get up and move around, but I am kept in here like a dog and why do I want to be Pain's dog? Right now... because who else is there to serve? ... is this wrong? Why does part of it feel right? I don't even know her and that's why I get hurt... why we get hurt I should say. They tell me things in my head, like she is playing you... or she is lying, or whatever. Why is she using me? What does she get out of the situation? I overheard her say she paid for me, from where?? This is because I got in too deep with that bookie isn't it? Did she pay off my debts? Things are still fresh with her, and I don't even know her real name. I doubt she would know mine if it hit her across the face, at least I know I never have told her my name.
If I told her all the silly things that I make fun of myself for thinking would she laugh at me and tell me to grow up? Would she think I am cute and want to cuddle me like a stuffed teddy bear? What if I let my inner asshole fly free and just say everything I know will bounce off her wall? Does Pain have anything behind her wall worth looking for? She thinks she knows me, I doubt that because I don't want to feel anymore. I don't take pleasure in anything and who is she to help me rediscover that feeling of pleasure... Josie... I miss Josie... I miss her laughing, I miss her smile, I miss her yelling at me. We spend six months on the road together, and I thought... I don't know what I thought why I wanted to get back to Candy so bad. I was breaking down here in Pain's dungeon and knowing that Josie is only worried about Josie...I ... I guess I messed up leaving my post like I was suppose to... I am sorry Josie. I am a POW now, just leave me behind please.. please don't get involved.. please just let me suffer like I deserve. Let Pain make me suffer... at least someone is getting some joy out of my life.
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Enough about the dreaming, Riot did fall asleep on the bed after several hours. The sun is up and annoying him with it's brightness. He has been somewhat hot and then cold all night. Pain doesn't visit him she has people with hoods on over their faces bring him meals three times a day even though he hardly eats anything not feeling well enough to eat. Pain took pity on him and visited him one day before their last match. She almost seemed... human. Riot had freaked out started bashing his head off the brick walls, he still has gashes that are healing and big bruises. The memory of her hands on his face and head still is there as if she is still caressing him tenderly. She didn't even seem so sleazy as she had been in business attire for some meeting she was jetting off to after dealing with him.
What is it that you want Alex?I want to be so good that nobody else can compare, I want it to hurt when I am not around because nothing fills that hole except for me.We all want that for you and will help. Just don't think it will be easy, what if she is just a pawn? What if she is an illusion like all the others? I bet she was only being nice to get you to drop your guard you better put it back up before she breaks it down.I want her to think it is down... I want her to try and break in... but why would she want to? When people break through to me they leave, I guess the pay off is not as great as what it takes to get to know me...us...whatever...nevermind.The door makes a sound and he quiets himself down thinking it must be time for another hooded slave to bring him his food. Part of him feels guilty for Angel and how his last match went down. She probably hates him and that hurts, because of all the people he never wanted to hurt his cousin Angel was the last.
Pain walked in wearing long black tights due to the cold weather and an long sleeve shirt though it was cut off above her belly button to grab some attention and the neckline was low cut showing off her cleavage. AJ tried to fight the urge to look at her, but when you don't see anything something that subtle would be a tease. He grins and turns away thinking that is probably her plan right now to make him seem like he is safe to let his guard down.
"I figured we can eat together for once, so I came to invite you to dinner." She said in a formal tone while standing straight. She had that same amber color in her brown eyes that she had when she was ... kind. Riot sighed and shook his head not wanting to give into her.
"I am not hungry... thanks anyway." He said with a short tone.
Pain bit her bottom lip looking a little angry.
"Fine...then you won't eat at all. I don't care if you starve.""I know you don't." He retorted quickly hiding the hurt that he actually felt like it was true.
She paused at the door hearing him. AJ wondered if it hurt her like it did for him to admit out loud? Pain stood there still and silent before speaking indirectly at him with her back still facing him.
"You walked away from me, I should be the one questioning rather you care to even be here.""I am a dog for a woman who's name I do not even know...who wants that, to have a master that they do not even know. Even Christians have a book to go off and pretend they know who they are following. Do you have a pamphlet like the ones that go door to door, because I've love to read it. Maybe for once I would know what the fuck I am even doing here in the first place." He was grumpy, but he liked talking to her she is his only company. Still you can not mistake this for emotion Alex, this is where you went wrong with Chaz. She was the only one there to talk to, it was convenience, not love or compassion.
She let out a huff of a laugh still keeping her back towards him. She slowly turns around and walks up to him bending down to stare nose to nose with him. Her eyes were deeper then he would think and getting to stare off into them he liked because it feels like exploring space.
"Wouldn't you love to know... When you earn it I will tell you my name.""Do you swear?" He said doubtfully.
"I know you are fighting with yourself, that is why I moved you into this room. I am here when nobody else is, I am fighting your family off and that wort you've let plague you for too long named Josie Pleasure. I don't want to drive you away from anyone that is not my goal...""So what is?" he interrupted only making her irritated.
"Don't interrupt me." She said scornfully and glared at him. Riot smirked watching her aggravation she would do the same to him.
"Sorry...Mistress." He forced himself to say just to get her to stay.
She walks her fingers over top of the blanket of the bed he is sitting on with his feet chained to it. Her hands are right next to his outer thigh and Riot's eyes are locked on where her hands are traveling to as she talks getting closer to his face.
"I plan on driving you to be what you want to be. I know what you want rather you believe it or not."He turned his eyes back onto her's.
"Then prove it." He said with mockery. Without a second of warning Pain pressed her lips onto his and bit onto his left lip piercing tugging hard on it with her teeth. Riot sighed with pain, but there was a hint of joy mixed in. She reopened the wound she gave him before from biting through his skin, the blood slightly trickled down his lip and Pain licks it off his chin. His eyes opened back up from shutting as he flinched from her quickly rushing into biting his lip. She grins as she realized he was now looking at her again.
"There now it is your turn. In this match we have, prove it to me. Prove to me that I can count on your loyalty. You have to want to move on from the past Riot...I seen you dwelling there for so long while I waited on the sidelines. I am not a consolation prize, I won't let myself be. You want more of my affection, then you need to earn it. Both of these women want to rip me apart and over you." Pain slide up onto the bed sitting beside him and his breath became heavier. Why is she sitting so close to me, does she realize my hand is grazing up against her hip? Does she know how soft she feels and muscular, and like I should pin her down and rip my teeth into her flesh like a pot roast? ... I can't think like this or she will notice.
"Josie doesn't care about me... I learned that a long time ago...well I thought I did....." He stares off thinking of Josie and how he loved her laugh. It was wicked and full of madness like his own when he stared at her he seen a little girl screaming to get out. Perhaps why he is so drawn to her because his troubled little boy wants to play with her. AJ looks back at Pain noticing her trailed off the way he did.
"I don't care about Josie though...why should I? My cousin though...I don't want to hurt her, she just thinks she is protecting me by ...well I don't know how, but she thinks you are bad for me and therefore getting me away from you will help me. I can not fault her for her logic, that is your fight Pain...your way of proving to me you will fight.... but I want your name. I want to know your soul, I know you have one... it peeks out at me from behind your eyes. Does that scare you? That I want it so badly... I want to devour all of it, every black morsel..." His eyes creep along her neck and down her cleavage, all of it unmarked and his mind imagining how simple it would be to slice into just like they did Thanksgiving Turkey. ... It is not normal to think in such a way. I shouldn't want to nibble on her like food, or think about how digesting her would make her a part of me. Shut up Alex she will hear us...don't tell us to shut up or she will know we are talking to you. Do you understand Alex just nod and pretend everything is ok. AJ nods his head at Pain like his voices told him to locking eyes with her. He doesn't understand why just looking at her is a tease to him and slowly starts to grin like an idiot, but to Pain she thinks he is mocking her.
Being confused on rather to smirk or not Pain noticed how Riot became hung up when Josie was brought into the picture.
"You'll get answers as soon as I get mine." She pats him on the head and stands up before walking out of the room, but stops at the door before leaving. She grins and leans on the door frame watching him lay back and then tilt his head at her.
"I will have one of my servants bring you something to eat, I need your strength up." She says chuckling as she shut the door.
AJ fell back against the bed letting out a long exhale of frustration. Then pushes his hands over his face.
"I'm sorry Angel...I am so sorry....this isn't about you at all. I love you so much...so fucking much... I can't drag you down with me and I know you know I am sinking. How long can I keep it together? I don't even know where my mind is taking me I am just accepting that it is going somewhere and I am along for the ride. *sighs*
You'll understand when I am able to explain it, right now you just need to understand that helping Josie is a bad idea...very bad."